Brandy Bunch

All Blacks will win the Rugby World Cup

2011-02-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

All Blacks will win the world cup..

Now before SA Home Affairs threatens to revoke my citizenship and try to take the Green Mamba off me, or you think I have been drinking too many trim latte’s in Ponsonby lately (I had the MEANEST hot chocolate at Duke Carvell’s in Wellington the other day, by the way… http://www.dukecarvells.co.nz/ The barista’s facial hair’s a bit dodgy though, don’t say I didn’t warn you…), let me rephrase that:

The All Blacks will win the world cup….. That’s IF any 1 of the following happens over the next few months. And if or when all of these actually become true, I’d start running if I were you!!

1) The Stormers win the Super XV – Let’s face it.. It ain’t gonna happen! After finally reaching the final (after what seemed like 900 fruitless previous attempts) in 2010, I’m sure the hype coming out of Cape Town will make us wanna believe that “this is our year! This is the year we finally go one step further and win it!!!” There’s only 1 other team that has managed to break my heart as many times (please refer to point nr 3) as WP or the Stormers over the last 20 years, so it’s probably about time I’m honest.. For me, it’s a case of history repeating itself – The Stormers were “ok” in 2008 and the season was seen as “a success” after they only narrowly missed out on a semi final spot behind the Hurricanes. In 2009 we all expected them to kick on and go further, but they were shocking and after an abysmal start (3 losses from the opening 4 games) their season was already over before the season reached the halfway mark.
Last year they played some fantastic rugby (especially in New Zealand against the Blues and the Chiefs) but I just have a pretty uneasy feeling about this season, sorry. For me there are just a few things that “don’t seem right”. The injury of Tiaan Liebenberg is a major blow – I just don’t know how good our backup to Deon Fourie is, sorry... I also don’t like the fact that Bash is still eating sushi in Japan, and nobody can really tell me when he’ll be back. He was one of the unsung heroes in the team last year. His place kicking was superb; he managed to get the backs away nicely. I know pre season games count for NOTHING, but why do I also get a feeling that we looked sharper 12 months ago?? And don’t even get me started on starting the competition with a *&&%# bye this weekend!!
Also, remember: the Chiefs were losing finalists in 2009 and were waaaay off the pace in 2010..

2) Tommy Smyth (“with a Y!!”) and Shaka Hislop agree on something/ doesn’t have a raging argument during an episode of ESPN Soccernet Presspass - It’s a bit like a car crash – No matter how bad it is, you just can’t help yourself you to have a peek.. Same with Soccernet Presspass: There’s just something “wrong” about watching a show produced by Americans about soccer/football, but to hear Tommy letting rip into Shaka a few times a week is pure gold!
I just can’t help to tune in every night at 21h00… Yes Shaka, West Ham will be “right up there at the end of the season!”

3) The Proteas play in the final of the cricket world cup – I wanted to say “win world cup”, but that’s a bit rich if you consider we’ve never ever featured in a final since readmission in 1992, so I’m prepared to take baby steps… 1992 it was “22 runs off 1 ball”, in 1996 we were unbeaten in pool play, only to come unstuck against the Windies in the quarter final. 1999 @Hershybru famously “dropped the world cup” and Klusener and Donald decided to take running between the wickets lessons from Susan Boyle.. 2003 Polly read the Duckworth Lewis sheet wrong and 2007 Australia absolutely smashed us in the semi’s (after we lost to Bangladesh in pool game!!). So why will 2011 be any different??

4) Chelsea finishes 5th in the Premier League and misses out on Champions League spot – now this one I will REALLY enjoy. Wouldn’t it be somewhat ironic if Klit Torres misses out on playing in the UEFA Champions League with his “big club” next season, after leaving Liverpool for that exact same reason and wanting “to play on the highest level” possible? Suddenly I find myself cheering madly for Spurs… Take that 4th spot! Please!!! mmmm… wonder if Torres will be going out on loan to Bolton next season to join Sturridge?

5) Andy Murray wins Wimbledon – Can you imagine the post-match scenes of jubilation on Henman Hill (sorry, Mount Murray)?? The last time a Brit won Wimbledon was Fred Perry in 1936, so it’s fair to say it’s been a while… Sheez, even WP has won the Currie Cup since then!! I can already see the newspaper headlines if Murray does take the prize… It’ll be “Our Andy!” or “Magnificent Murray mesmerizes” everywhere. But should the poor guy cock it up (again), be sure to expect “Sad Scot stumbles at SW19” (relax Gordon Brown.. no one saw you leave the VIP lounge with its free booze..)

6) Lance Armstrong gets convicted for doping – It seems like these days not a month go by where Floyd Landis is not accusing Lance and other former US Postal riders of doping and the evidence against him seems to be piling up by the minute. Still, if he hasn’t been done by now, surely it’ll never happen?

7) P Divvy decides it's time to stop thinking he is SA’s hottest part time standup comedian and reverts to dropping the Bible stories from his interviews and concentrates purely on rugby -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Ok, what was I thinking? This will never happen while this joker is in charge of the Springboks! (Pieter, for the record, unlike Craig Dowd or Brendon Cannon I don’t have any money, so save yourself the trouble by trying to sue me for talking kak about you, ok)

8) The Black Caps win a test match – They recently managed to make it to the 5th day of the second test against Pakistan, so I had to be reasonable and change it from “making it to day 5 of a test match”, to “actually winning one”. The last time they won a test match, against decent opposition that is, was against England in Hamilton during 2008. But still Scott Styris and co wants to remind everyone at the World Cup “they can beat any team on the day”. Pig, you’re a bit like the Bulls of 2001.. You can’t beat anybody at the moment.. (For the record: I think Zimbabwe are going to klap you at this World Cup)

9) Earl Rose makes a tackle while playing for Griekwas in the Vodacom Cup – I see Earl the Pearl has swapped his super snazzy digs in Jozi for a stint with Griekwas in Kimberley. Not sure if super coach Pieter will be too happy with firstly John Mitchell cutting him from the Lions setup, and now Naka also telling him he’s not good enough for the Cheetahs’ super rugby squad this season. Don’t worry Earl – every World Cup squad has a bolter selection.. You can be the Boks fairytale story, a player who was plucked from Vodacom Cup rugby to play in a World Cup! If that fails, you can always consider your options and move overseas? I’m sure the clubs are queuing up big time to land your signature…

10) Steven Donald retires from competitive rugby – ‘cause if he is fit, Graham Henry is probably going to stick with Beaver as DC’s backup at 10 for the world cup. And we all know Donald’s the man for the big moment with heaps of BMT! He’ll slot that crucial penalty in injury time, or kick the ball out to secure victory…

Cheersie
Pik the Oktoberpuss ( i was born in October. You see what I did there?)

Invictus - Big Pik review

2010-08-15T12:18:00.001-07:00

I know nothing about making movies. In fact, I probably know nothing about rugby, since I still support the Stormers after what feels like 27 lean seasons. But boy... I've seen Invictus twice now (and just in case "The Piracy Police" is reading - the first time I actually paid to see it on the "Big Screen". Along with the pop corn, the coke, the lollies oraait!!) and also read some of the expert movie critics' reviews. It just made me think it's about time somebody who actually has a passion for the oval ball game also has something to say it.

Now, the plan is not to spoil the movie for anyone. Well, the plot is pretty obvious then isn't it! (Unless you're an AB's supporter who's been working holidaying in Siberia for the last 15 years that is... In that case: We win, you lose, they all lived happily ever after. The End!)
But, ok on an attempted serious note - here is my recollection of the movie.

I must admit I was pumped when I heard Clint Eastwood was appointed/decided to be the director of a movie based on John Carlin's book Playing the Enemy. I felt the same when I read Matt Damon (Maaaaaattt Daaaamoooonn!! Ok, if you haven't seen Team America forget about it..) would play the part of Francois Pienaar in this movie. And to top it off - Morgan Freeman as our beloved Madiba! I mean really: Morgan Freeman probably looks more like Nelson Mandela than the great man himself! "Legen... wait for it... DAIRY!!! "
But hey, thinking back - I was probably just flattered that the Springboks and SA would actually get a bit of a "Hollywood feel" to it and that a movie was going to be made about 1 of the top 3 days of my life so far. (in no particular order: the 2007 rugby world cup final and my wedding day make up the list.. Well, I had to put the wedding day in there, hey Liefie.. haha just kidding!)
But still - I was rapt! I started the research immediately. I read John Carlin's book (thanks for the b'day pressie Sus!) and it was with great expectation (and in great anticipation) that I took my seat in the movie theatre that Sunday afternoon. But eish... At one stage I thought "Joost's acting" in that white socks movie of his was more believable than Clint Eastwood's perception of a rugby movie.
Now, the idea is not to pi$$ Clint off, 'cause his .44 Magnum is probably not too far away- but the following are just a few things of the movie that really irritated me:

11th of February 1990 - The day Nelson Mandela was released from prison. Clintie, you're right. It was a Sunday afgterooon. I might've been only 14 years old, but I don't think I'll ever forget that day, 'cause we were there and living in the moment. I just find it a little bit difficult to belive DF Malan's u/14 or u/16 P rugby team actually had a rugby practice that day. On a Sunday?? And also on the day Nelson Mandela's convoy of cars are heading through the streets of Belville on their way to the Parade in Cape Town's CBD? With that "other ninja" Hennie Bosman with a "lekker fiek Suff Effricen" accent as their coach telling his team "all about dêt terrorist Mandela".
After the game at Kings Park when Matt Damon says "you're right, it does taste like $hit!" and moers his beer can against the wall: I'm not so sure against who the Boks lost this game? Francois Pienaar played one test for the Boks in Durban before the '95 World Cup, but that was against France during June of 1993. And the result in that game was a draw, 20-20.. Also funny how Lion Lager was the big sponsor of Springbok rugby during the early to mid '90s, but the players in the movie are drinking some weird, unknown brew in the changing room after the game? No wonder it tastes like $hit, Matty! Down a Lion, feel satisfied, my bru! (or is that brew, bru? Geez..)
The cool as ice white police officer who never bothers to take off his sunglasses, and that irritating gorilla of a Springbok rugby player who wants to boicot everything his "cappy" suggests, feeble attempts at the Saffa accent: I get the impression Clint blew his whole budget on Damon and Freeman's salaries here.. Were there no South African "actors" available for any of the other parts in the movie which involved a bit of dialogue, Clint? Was District 9's Wikus (Sharlto Copley) busy on the weekend you filmed those scenes?? Can you imagine how Jonah Lomu would've kakked his pants if Wikus had to shout "get your vokieng tenticles out of my face" after the first tackle??
The character Johan de Villiers, the rugby journo: Ok, I know the problem lies with me here, Clintie.. But I struggle to take a rugby pundit seriously when his only other "credentials" on his cv states "starring in the role of a security guard in the movie Lipstiek Dipstiek!" "if you even think about moving, I shoot you dattie kak spat!" If I was David van der Sandt, I would've been pretty de moer in, 'cause it was his impromptu interview with Francois Pienaar after the final whistle on that amazing day at Ellis Park that included quotes that even Mister Hollywood Eastwood couldn't have scripted better - "Francois, fantastic support from 63,000 South Africans here today" tv anchorman David van der Sandt said straight after the Boks had beaten the mighty All Blacks in the final. Without missing a beat, Pienaar replied: "David, we didn't have the support of 63,000 South Africans today, we had the support of 42 million South Africans." Eish, MAGIC!
Chester Williams: Someone obviously gave Clint footage of the Springboks 1998 test match against Wales at Loftus, instead of the 1995 RWC campaign.. How else do you explain the casting of Macneil Hendriks in the role of Chessie???
The Nkosi Sikelel' i Afrika singing session in the hotel: "Raait, Cappy"... Surprise, surprise but it's again our friend "the gorilla" who doesn't want to co-operate. Geez, is it just me, or is this guy a bit negative? Can't someone just tell Matt to pull a Jason Bourne on this guy's a$$ and sort him out? Note to Cappy: Gorilla is kak for the morale in the team!!
Opening game against the Wallabies at Newlands: In the Hollywood version the Boks score 3 tries. In reality they only scored twice, Clintie..(Joel Stransky and Pieter Hendriks.) In the movie there's no fist pump, and Pieter also scores the try on the right hand side of the field, not on the left in front of the Railway Stand... Sure, Hendriks and his fist pump was tappit and arrogant, but that was what made the try so bloory unforgettable!
The general lack of skills in the Springbok backline: Ok, I'm not talking about the EOYT team that lost against Leicester at the end of last year.. But Clint, why did you have to go and sign the most "unco mofgat" as the Springbok flyhalf in your movie? Invictus' Joel Stransky takes a lifetime to clear his line kicks and I guess if it wasn't with the help of CGI, his winning drop goal might've taken half a day and 437 takes to film.. I'm sure I could've given you the names of at least 10 better "voetballers" who would've been willing to star in your movie with only a bottle of Klippies as their preferred method of remuneration. They also can't act, but a word of advice: If you want your audience to believe your nr 10 is the general of your team, then he should at least appear to have a bit of balance and I mustn't be fearing for his safety or think he's going to fall over his own blêrrie feet the whole time during the movie! Or to put it in American terms for you - you don't get Superbad's Mclovin to star in the role of Tom Brady or Peyton Manning in a movie about winning the Superbowl! Use it, don't use it...
Jonah Lomu: Eish...The poor dude who had to play Jonah. I felt sorry for him! How many times do you think he had to be tackled during filming? "OK, the guys in the green jerseys to tackle Jonah - take 182. Aaaaand ACTION!" Ps - Laurie Mains: I think I know where you guys went wrong. Your game plan was only to give it to Jonah. Too predictable!
Brendan Venter, Andrew Mehrtens and Jeff Wilson: Ok, for once I am not complaining here. I have to give the casting director a bit of credit. Both Venter and Mehrts characters come complete with big ears. Very realistic here! And Jeff Wilson also has that "please bliksem me" face.. Just as he had in his playing days!
The last 25 seconds of the final: Cringe!!! The players sound like retards while everything is happening in slow motion. "ooooohhh... aaaaah!!" WTF?? I also seriously doubt if Francois Pienaar had time to stare at the clock winding down for the last 20 seconds of the game while the rest of his team mates were putting bodies on the line to defend their lead.

So, there you have it. Clint, you'll probably just shrug your shoulders, tell me to get lost and show me your Academy Awards as counter, but for me the most emotional moment of your movie was at the end when the credits started rolling and I saw the still shots of the REAL '95 Rugby World Cup Springboks and Nelson Mandela. THAT gave me goose bumps!

Hou dit regtig, my huisie!

Big Pik

Fancy a game of Dropoly?

2009-07-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

It was during my lunch break today, on the way back from Chicken Licken via Exclusive Books to collect my copy of Black and Beautiful: Swimsuit Edition that I stumbled upon this little gem proudly brought to you by SARU and my very own uncle, P Divvy:

DROPOLY – The board game with extra kick... Because the game’s not over ‘til the very last drop(goal).

Players: 1 – 8
Ages: 18 years and older
Setup time: 10 – 12 minutes
Playing time: 80 minutes
Skills required: NONE!! Just a bottle (or 8) Kellerprinz Late Harvest, Capenheimer , Autumn Harvest Crackling or Witzenberg Stein..

The Rules:
Every player needs to take a sip from his/her drink whenever any of the following happens during the match:

Sky’s “Sideline commentator” Tony Johnson starts yelling vivaciously, and in the process also “jizz in his pants” when Richie McCaw creates a turnover. (‘Cause let’s face it, NO other player in world rugby quite does it for Tony like the All Black skipper....)
Ruan Pienaar misses a penalty or conversion
It sounds as if Grant Fox is going to start crying when the referee awards a penalty against the All Blacks
The camera crew film yet another one of Cape Town’s coloured community wearing an All Blacks jersey in the stands
Danie Rossouw drops the ball/knocks on
The All Blacks lose a line out
Bismarck du Plessis hits one of the opposition with a late tackle, only to apologise 0.28 seconds later, gesturing it was all unintentional and accidental
Anyone of the Sky commentators mentions any one of the words “altitude”, “veldt” or “above sea level” in a phrase/sentence
The camera crew show P Divvy and Dick Muir hugging and kissing in the coaching booth
Francois Steyn has an attempt at a long range drop goal
Ma’a Nonu decides to take on the defence instead of passing the ball
Chilliboy Ralapele makes a cameo appearance with less than a minute to go in the match
All Blacks forwards coach Steve Hansen says they’ll “attempt to address the issues at line outs next week” during a post match interview
A Springbok player, captain or one of the coaching staff says “it’s back to the drawing board for us” at the post match interview

The following will result in you downing/sculling your drink:

Ruan Pienaar being successful with a penalty or conversion
The last player/contestant to shout “Beeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaassssssttt” when Tendai touches the ball
Anyone of the Sky commentators mentions any two of the words “altitude”, “veldt” or “sea level” in the same phrase/sentence.
Danie Rossouw manages to hold on to a pass
Steve Hansen claiming the All Blacks hooker and locks actually did practise line outs at their training sessions during the week
Graham Henry mentions the word “composure” at the post match interview

Geez.... Looksh loik "hic".. a lot of... "hic".... fun to me, raaightsh??

Hou dit regtig, my huisie!! (Keep it real, my homey!)

Phat Pik

Phat Pik and his uncle.

2009-07-01T05:02:00.001-07:00

Dear Phat Pik,

Let me start by offering an apology for not attending aunty Mavis’ birthday party last night. It’s just that I’ve been experiencing some serious problems with my car since the Lions arrived in the country. Matters seem to take a turn for the worst last night when my (SARU sponsored, of course) jalopy broke down on the way home from training. Luckily Oregan has given me the name of a white mechanic this time, which at least means I can keep taking the bloory thing back until the problem’s fixed. I should be back on the road again tomorrow, or so I hope.. You never know with mechanics.....

So, did you enjoy the game on Saturday? (Dêmmit that reminds me I must still thank Arthrob for scoring you those tickets on the Northern Pavilion!!) Anycase, it was a “lekke” game, hey!! As a coach who’s simply trying to be the best he can be, I can’t really put into words how proud I am of my team. Ok, if you insist, I suppose I can try… Like the mighty Julius Caesar once said: “Vini Vidi Fettucini” (which translates to “we came, we scored, we donnered!”)

Just a pity about Schalk’s “alleged” eye gouge, though.. Schalk assured me he’s innocent, and I stand by him and am convinced he didn’t do it. He said he just lost his balance while hitting the first ruck after kickoff, and before he could say “tutu”, Luke Fitzgerald grabbed his fingers and jammed it in his face, trying to gouge his own eyes!! Schalk was as surprised as the Lions supporters when referee Berdos send him to the bin, and said he really felt sorry for Fitzgerald when the crowd started jeering him. It’s not nice to have a player experience that from his supporters, you know, but then again… it’s rugby we’re talking about here and not dancing, hey…. Speaking of dancing – Bakkies was very emotional after learning of Michael Jackson’s passing on Friday, so he vowed to do a bit of moon walking on the field as a sort of tribute to MJ. Pity one of the Hair Bears had to be in the way at that exact moment...Mind you, the way Andrew Sheridan groped Andries Bekker in the 61st minute you could probably put money on the fact that he’s also a bit of a Michael Jackson fan..

So ja, it’s quite difficult to remain focused and humble at this time. We’ve clinched the series, all thanks to my experience and coaching ability. But to be honest with you I don’t understand why there was ever such a fuss made about Ian Mcgeechan? I mean, to put it in simple, understandable English – Mohamed looked up one sunny morning at the mountain; refused to give in to the warthog and in the end got the ice cream as dessert.... I simply out coached him, Phat Pik!

But, hey.. Do you think he’s congratulated me since? Maybe even take the time to send a sms to say “Pieter, you’re fantastic, and if only I knew how to make super substitutions like yourself it might’ve been different!!! But no, Phat Pik: NOTHING!! It’s a bit like a rabbit that crosses the road safely for 28 times, only to be run over by a 5 ton truck the very next time.. I guess life is not fair..

Ok, probably time for me to get back to the training session and do what I do best. You know, the early frog never catches swine flu..
I’ll ask Arthrob to leave the tickets at the team hotel for you again, just like last weekend.

Keep it real my homey
Your uncle, the champion
P Divvy

Phat Pik is Big Pik's black cousin... A bit more gangster, but with the same passion..

Hairier moments

2009-03-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

If it's not the Stormers running out of puff (yet again..) at Newlands, or the Proteas rolling over against Aussie on day 5 at the Wanderers, it's Liverpool drawing another blank in the Premier League, to only slip further behind Man Utd in the title race. And no, not another goalles draw at Anfield, but this time a 2-0 defeat to Middlesborough. Yip, you heard right!! That's "defeat", and not a so called "respectable" one against another one of the alleged "Big 4" clubs, but to relegation strugglers Middlesborough. Middlesborough!! M-I-D-D-L-E-S-B-O-R-O-U-G-H, for vark steaks!!!!

Add to that a feeling of utter disappointment after a hopeful search on the internet, to only learn that NO other team in our universe (come on, EP's Mighty Elephants.. get with the program!), not even Boudjellal's Toulon ('cause let's face it they currently have just about every "has been" on their books.. ) were willing to make a "Luke-rative" offer for the son-of-Cheeky's services over the weekend.. An offer which promises to take him out of Cape Town forever!! And, to just top it all off nicely, I had to sit through the Carling Cup Final early on Monday morning to see Man Utd win (yet) another trophy this season... When it rains, it pours, hey!!

So, it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise if I'm not too keen on having a yarn about the weekend's rugby, cricket and soccer (sorry... football!) results.

No, instead, I thought I should say something about hairstyles and player images..

WTF?? Hairstyles? Now hold on: You might find it strange that a baldy like myself is willing to go that direction, but all I can say is that it's easy for the mind to go astray when your teams are playing as kak as mine are at the moment!

So, here are some of the hairstyles or "looks" that got my attention over the weekend: (feel free to add some of your own personal favourites, just in case I missed any)

Casey Laulala: Looks more like he belongs in the LA Lakers starting line up these days.

Nick Cummins: All together now: "ta na naa naaah... ta na na na naaah... ta na naah naah naaah!! It's the final countdooooown!" To quote Phil Kearns, the Force Flyer has got the "Europe look" going rather nicely!

Luka Modric: Ok, Kane has given me loads of abuse in the past for saying "I don't mind Tottenham", so it's nothing against Spurs, BUT can somebody please tell the little Croatian nobody takes a guy with an alice band seriously!! Never! Just look at Nathan Bracken.. I'm sure he would've made the test team on a regular basis if it wasn't for that ridiculous look.. Only Schalk Burger might be able to pull that one off if he wanted to, and only just....

Aaron Lennon: Another Spurs player... Can someone please explain the "Vanilla-Ice-GT -stripes-in-my-eyebrows" look? Wasn't that "hip" and "cool" in 1989?? Co-incidentally also the last time Liverpool won the league....

Taniela Moa and Benoit Assou-Ekotto: Moa might be playing for the Blues, but he caught the eye along with his fellow "braid"brother, Assou-Ekotto at Spurs. (what is it with Spurs and dodgy hairstyles??). Moa is a 108kg scrumhalf/half back, so I wouldn't dare making fun of him, but it's no wonder Assou-Ekotto is such a dreadful defender... Should come as no surprise, really... He probably doesn't have any energy left to run around on the field after platting his hair before a match.

Schalk Burger: Nothing bad to say about The Schalk's look. Was just wondering if I'm the only one who noticed a massive dip in form since he shaved his hair? A case of Samson losing his strength, perhaps?

Till next time

Big Pik

SA Rugby's future?

2008-10-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Arum Lilies on top after Zuma magic

Big Pik
12/07/2010 07:36:47 AM – (Equatorial Guinea)

Ex president Nelson Mandela (oops, sorry –Rholihlahla… don’t wanna upset Dr Nokuzola Mndende..) isn’t the only one who can inspire national sport teams to greatness.
The South African president, Mr. Jacob Zuma, (sorry, wasn’t too sure if he’s been awarded with a doctorate?? Well, pretty sure he’s not a medical doctor… not after the whole “I took a shower” episode.. maybe a plumber then?), weaved his magic wand in Equatorial Guinea on Saturday, inspiring the Arum Lilies to a 10-5 victory in the process.
Although the victory helped secure second spot in their qualifying group, it was a case of ‘too little too late’ for the Arum Lilies, as they can no longer qualify for the African Cup, which will be held in Kenya during September.

Zuma, who was on an Official State Visit to Equatorial Guinea to commemorate their Independence, managed to clear his busy schedule to support the Arum Lilies in Malabo.
“We were so proud when he walked into the changing room. His mere presence inspired us to give our best out there today!” the Arum Lily captain, Luke Watson said afterwards.
Watson, playing in his first competitive match since rupturing his "human rights” (again) earlier this year, said he was just “so chuffed to finally complete a match without any sporadic vomiting”.
Right wing(er), Jannie Malherbe (the only so called “quota player” in the team) managed to break the deadlock with a try at the end of the first half, after a fine piece of individual brilliance by Watson.
It was the Arum Lilies’ first try in 3 matches, after previous scoreless efforts against Sierra Leone, Nigeria and Libya.

“I am very happy with the performance” an elated coach Zola NoNo said afterwards.
“It was an extremely physical battle, and a more inexperienced outfit might’ve struggled to deal with the distractions we had to put up with before the match” NoNo said.
The coach was referring to an incident which occurred only moments before the match was scheduled to start, when referee Marius van Zyl had to withdraw due to an injury he picked up during his warm-up. The injury to the referee nearly led to the cancellation of the match, as earlier in the year a decision was made at the African Rugby and Soccer Expo (A.R.S.E), all future matches "to be officiated by dumb Dutchmen only."
Luckily for NoNo and his team, Francois Pienaar – “the dumbest Dutchman of them all” was in the crowd, and he was able to take the whistle, and the match commenced after a delay of only 22 minutes.….. (phew!)

The Arum Lilies now have a 3 week break before they’ll play in a friendly match against Namibia in Cape Town. This fixture replaces the originally scheduled international against Romania in Bucharest, which was cancelled after visas could not be secured for players, management staff and SABC personnel.

South Africa - Try: Jannie Malherbe. Conversion: Luke Watson. Penalty: Luke Watson.
Equatorial Guinea -Try: Precious Mbatha.
Man of the match: Luke Watson
Attendance: 541

Double standards, double adaptors en double agents...

2008-06-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Nee, dis NIE die naam van Steve Stofsuier se nuwe album nie.. Ek kannie aan 'n opskrif vir die blog dink wat pittig en skerp is nie... Ek's sommer vandag net die moer in... Dubbel die moer in, dan seker!
Wag, laat ek dan seker maar probeer verduidelik...

Sien, die Crusaders het mos die Super 14 gewen... En nee: Dis nie waaroor ek moerig is nie.... Of, ek sal ook nie juis sê ek het op en af gespring Saterdagaand toe die eindfluitjie geblaas het, en die Crusaders spelers en supporters begin feesvier het nie.. Dit was omtrent so aangenaam om te aanskou as JP Nel "in full flight" daar op Loftus. In fact, die mees opwindendste deel van die celebrations op AMI Stadium die naweek, was seker toe daai perd uitgefreak het, en om die veld begin hardloop het!!!! Only in Christchurch, I tell yous!! (alhoewel ek gehoor het indien daai perd van Pretoria was, hy na die tyd op die dwarslat sou geklim het met 'n "Horses Rule" t-hempie aan...)

Ek het nie 'n probleem met die Cruaders nie. Die beste span het gewen. Wat my wel die *&^%$#^% ingemaak het, was toe ek die koerante oopgeslaan het Sondagoggend, en Richard Loe se indrukke van die finaal moes opeet. Oukei, dan: dit het my dubbel die *&^%$#^% in gemaak!
Ou Loe'tjie mention die vlge:
"The Super 14 final was a brilliant game of rugby, I thought, with the defences very good"

"It was a very Robbie Deans win. By that I mean, they played to their pattern and had faith in it. Deans and his team structured how they were going to play and they stuck to it - and that meant not going wide all the time but turning the ball in and keeping it and dominating territorially."

Dis sulke eenogigheid, wat my die moer in maak... Dubbel die moer in...

Dis nie dat ek NIE saamstem met daai ex-vuilgat speler genaamd Loe nie!! Ek het die finaal baie geniet. Dit was "close", spannend EN opwindend.. Hel, dit het selfs 'n dropgoal ingesluit!!! Is dit nie "what finals footy is all about" after all nie?

Nee, kyk: wat my wel grensloos geirriteer het, is die feit dat die NZ media nou ewe skielik nie genoeg kan kry om komplimente uit te deel aan die span wat die wedstryd gewen het, deur (1) baie/meeste balbesit weg te skop nie - sure, noem dit dan "tactical kicking", (2) uit en uit ingestel of bereid was om die opposisie die bal te gee, en te wag dat hulle foute maak in hulle eie halfgebied nie, en dan (3) low en behold ook nog so ver te moet gedaal het as om 'n skepskop oor te klits nie.....

Huh?? Nou wat nou? Is dit nie dieselle media wat die Engelse (en die Bokke dan ook!!) in Oktober laasjaar so verskriklik uitgevreet het oor hulle spelstyl in die World Cup nie?? Was dit nie dieselle media wat gesê het die World Cup Final tussen die Springbokke en Engeland was "boring", en het mislik as skouspel nie?
Snaaks hoe sienswyse kan verander in 'n paar maande as jou eie span aan die wenkant is... 8 maande terug het hulle nie gesê Jake White se Bokke "played to their pattern" in Parys nie... Nee, alles was mos vergete toe die AB's hulle name so gat gemaak het twee weke voor dit reeds teen die Franse daar in Cardiff...

Die Crusaders verdien hulle 7de Super title! Maar, menere Loe en kie kan gerus maar 'n slag die swart oogklappe afhaal... Double standards, double adaptors en double agents... Dit maak my die ^&^%$# in.... Dubbel die ^&^%$# in!, sê ek julle!

The more things change....

2008-02-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

New year...
New season...
New rules...

In the build up to the start of the 2008 Super 14 season, it was the acronym ELV's (that's Experimental Law Variations, just in case you holiday'ed on Mars the last couple of weeks...) which got a regular mention in the newspapers, and (for a change) not one of the Stormers squad members promising their supporters they "will definitely do better this year", or that "their tight 5 will outmuscle the Bulls in the opening game" (mmm... say what?)

So, it was with great interest and excitement I packed down in front of the tv last Friday night, when the Crusaders kicked off against the Brumbies. "I wonder what effect these rule changes will have on the game?, or "Do you think it will change the game completely?" were just some of the questions running through the mind as the game got under way...

But, after the completion of round 1, I'm not really convinced these "new rules" will in fact change anything. For me, things already have an all too familiar look...

- All the opening games were plagued with handling errors, and failed miserably as a spectacle. Just as disappointing as last year's opening round.

- The Crusaders are already sitting on top of the log. They scored 4 tries in pretty tough playing conditions in Christchurch (ok, the Brumbies are rubbish, but still...) , and it didn't look like they even had a Christmas break..

- The Blues got off to a flyer in Auckland (just like last year...), and David Nucifora are saying they "want to win the competition". No way, Dave!! And there I was under the impression the other teams only play for enjoyment! (Well, if you look at the Stormers......)

- The Chiefs (yet again!) lost their opening game. Will a poor start (yet again!) to the campaign prove costly at the business end (yet again!)

- On paper, the Hurricanes really promise so much. Pity they were just awful on the field against the Waratahs...

- Matt Henjak got sent home from South Africa.. Ok, this time he was actually involved in a punch up outside of the Republic, but still... Some guys never learn!

- Kobus Wiese still sports the same hairstyle..

- The Stormers simply can't buy a victory against the Bulls.. That's their 4th straight defeat to the Bulls in the Super 12/14

- South African teams are the kings of aimless kicking, and have absolutely no "respect" for the ball.. Sure, the collisions at Newlands were massive, and the atmosphere electric, but was all that "tactical" kicking by both teams really nescessary? And then we say England are boring...

- New rules/old rules.. Doesn't really matter. The Bulls showed those 5 - 10 minutes before and after halftime are still crucial in a rugby match when Habana went over in the corner, to start the Bulls comeback.

So then... The more things change, hey... The more they stay the same, I reckon!

ps - Ek suppose ek moet seker se "Geluk Bulle..." eish!

We're gonna party like it's 1995!!

2007-10-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, fouks.....
This will be quick! I'm already kakking in my pantsh, and the final is still ages away..

First up, no matter how much we love to knock the English, you've got to congratulate them on reaching the final. I know it's a silly cliche, but it's game on now and "anything can happen in a final." They've played to their strenghts, even if it means boring half the world to death in the process... But, I'm sure Brian Ashton and co are not exactly having any sleepless nights about not entertaining people along the way..
A big chunk of his squad have also got experience from playing in the 2003 final. They've been there, done that already.
So, then, you might ask: What have the Boks got to offer?? All they have nowadays are distant memories of 1995, 'ol chap!!!"

But, hold your horses, my chaaina!! Maybe, just maybe 2007 is the "new" 1995 for the Boks. If you think about it, there are quite a few similarities...

1.) Os du Randt. Os-some... The big Ox... He was there in '95 for the Boks with the number 1 on his back, and will pack down again on the loosehead for a final time on Saturday.

2.) The Pienaar factor... In 1995 the Boks assistant coach was a man named Gysie Pienaar. His son, Ruan, will play off the bench for the Boks this weekend...

3.) The '95 team had a guy named Francois in the starting line up... Maybe Steyntjie will also be remembered as an icon in years to come?

4.) The darling in the '95 team was Chester. Funny how the talisman of the Boks 2007 World Cup campaign also plays in the number 11 shirt...

5.) Just like in '95, the Bok fullback is a Shark. If Andre Joubert is referred to as the Rolls Royce of fullbacks, Percy must surely then be like my very first car, a 1974 Datsun 120 Deluxe: Sure, they both look a bit dodgy at first glance... Both have copped a fair amount of abuse from my mates over the years... But, along the way, I luckily realised they're both awesome value for money!

6.) And lastly... In '95 the scrum half was a Blue Bull, and the flyhalf a Shark.. Go Fourie and Butchie!!

I know, I'm clutching at straws here....
Go Bokke! Make us proud!

Put a sock in it!

2007-10-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

After making a fool of myself last weekend by getting the quarter final results so terribly wrong, I thought it would be best for all of us if I'd rather stay quiet this week.. If only these guys did the same:

"They looked like they didn't want to play. They were shocked. They were kicking too much and giving 50/50 passes. If the opposition kept the ball more in their hands and ran with it, I'm sure they could have scored a few more tries. They looked like they wanted to run into their cave, they didn't know what to do. I didn't see much talk from their senior players and in the end I guess they were just shocked with the pressure on them." mmmmmmm... You'll be surprised to know that these remarks do NOT refer to the All Blacks, but that these comments were indeed made by NZ's very own Joe Rokocoko, after his assessment of France's performance against Argentina in the opening game. (NZ Herald, 11.09.2007)

"This forward pack is infinitely better than the one he produced in terms of power, skill and confidence and if Eddie is in the Springbok camp it will give the Wallabies more incentive and determination in saying 'Eddie this is a big mistake' " Alec Evans, the skills coach and "scrum doctor" of the Wallabies, on the Aussie pack in the post-Eddie Moans era. (Super Sport Zone - 31.07.2007) Sjym, Alec....

"In the England test we were outmuscled, outweighed, outskilled and we just weren't good enough." Guess who?? None other than Donut Dunning.... The only problem is that he uttered these words in an interview on May 14, 2007, and surprisingly NOT after last weekend's humiliation in Marseille. Nope, Fat Matt was actually referring to the 26 - 16 defeat to England at Twickenham, on 12.11.2005!! One would've thought that nearly 2 years later, they would have tracked down two props in Aussie who knew how to scrum.... Guess not!! (and Matt: are you sure they outweighed you guys????)

"France pose absolutely no threat to the All Blacks" NZ Herald's regular big mouth, Chris Rattue on Wednesday, 03.10.2007

"So an apparal conspiracy and a delayed coin toss to decide who wears the alternate strip have stepped in to fill the build-up breach.
Not that it matters, because the All Blacks could play in sackcloths and they'd still stomp all over France.
One thing is for sure. With Laporte in charge, All Black supporters can already break out the wine, and those who have travelled to the tournament can even break out bottles of wine with Laporte's logo on them." Still Chris Rattue.... And then they still wonder why the rest of the world enjoyed their defeat to France??

"We do all hate England. All I'm doing is stating the bleeding obvious. No one likes England" Somebody forgot to tell Wallabies rugby boss, John O'Neill, that the world's also not that crazy about his lot... Any case, did Brian Ashton's team need any more motivation??

"It's been phenomenal. They believe they're the best young sporting team that ever stays in their hotels, the most open and friendly and easy to get along with" mmmmm... Someone forgot to tell Ted Henry about Dougie's antics at the Heathrow Hilton, upon their arrival in Christchurch.. DOH!!

"There was drink involved" You don't say, Dougie?? And there I was thinking you just jump on cars for the hell of it...

"For me personally, I don't think we should show them any respect" Jaques Fourie before the Springboks quarter final clash against Fiji.. I bet at 20-20 these guys had your undivided attention, Jaques'ie!!!

"All Blacks by 15 points" Big Pik on 04.11.2007....

"Wallabies to take this one with 7 - 12 points" The same useless, Big Pik......

So, then: Any predictions this weekend?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

Go Bokke!

Quarter final predictions.... and possible contradictions

2007-10-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Now, it's not that I've been locked up by NZ Immigration for the last 4 weeks, or busy at work, or even that I (for once!) don't have an opinion about the World Cup so far. No, it was always my intension to stay underneath the radar until the start of the Quarter Finals. When we all knew the REAL World Cup would start.... (Plus, after the disappointment of 2003, I wanted to see how the Boks perform against England, before I REALLY started talking up their chances...)

In saying that, it's not that I haven't enjoyed watching Portugal (Eddie Andrews take note: THAT'S how you sing your National Anthem!!) or Georgia running the (useless) Irish close. But, I just couldn't sustain the excitement levels when I knew the All Blacks were scheduled to play Italy, Portugal and wait for it.... that power house of Eastern European rugby, Romania...
The most frustrating bit, I guess, was having to sit through the game against the Scots in Edinburgh. (I'm not talking about the quality of rugby, but there I was under the impression this year's World Cup was played in France!! Silly me....) Mmmmm... YAAAAAAWN... So, on the eve of the first quarter final, I can finally say: BRING IT ON!!

First up we have France vs All Blacks: Sorry, but I won't be caught with my pant-sssssh down this time, romanticizing about the possibility of an upset. This (unfortunately) is like predicting WP will smash the Bulls at Loftus. (or, it seems even at Newlands nowadays... eisssshh!!)
Bottom line is France haven't beaten the All Blacks since 2000, when they met in Marseille, and although you can argue "but, surely it's gotta change at some stage", I just can't see it be any different this weekend in Cardiff. It's just too much like the period between 2000 and 2004 for my liking. That was the period when the Springboks couldn't buy a victory at home against the All Blacks... The players just didn't have the belief or actual experience of winning against their opponents dressed in black. We had to wait 4 long years for a bunch of Springbok youngsters to run an established All Black outfit close in the opening game of the 2004 Tri Nations in Christchurch, before they realised their opponents weren't invincible. The rest is history... 40 -26 at Ellis Park two weeks later... Order restored, 'nuff said!
Now, I'll admit: I was hoping for an upset, but that hope was quickly chucked aside yesterday, when I saw the make up of the France team... Laporte just doesn't get it, hey!! He played a wing at fulback in the opening game against the Argies, and one would've thought he learned his lesson after that embarrassing defeat.... But noooooo!! This week he's opting for an inside centre at fullback.. Traille was disappointing at flyhalf against the All Blacks last year, and I just can't see him redeem himself, by playing out of position again...
Make no mistake, the Frogs will be up for this one, but I see the AB's run away with it in the last 15 minutes.. (again!)
All Blacks by 15 points

Then, we have England vs Wallabies. I must admit, I'm in a bit of a spin here... I don't really want either of them to reach the semi finals, to be brutally honest with you!! But, I just can't see England giving the AB's a decent work out in a semi final, so it's gotta be the Aussies then, I guess... (some more crying in the shower scheduled for me tonight!!)
To me it's quite ironic how everyone reflected on England's pi$$poor performance against the Boks, by simply saying "they're the worst England team ever", but now John Connolly and co wants to claim the underdog status for this weekend's fixture against the Poms... Aag sjym, John!! How stupid do you fink we are???
Yes, Johnny and Jason Robinson are playing.. and yes, Andy Farrell's injury can only be an advantage to the England backline, but's quite simple, really: England's not good enough to win this World Cup! They're exactly like the Boks of 2003: Second in their pool, looking ok at times against average opposition, but only to crash out in the quarters, when the heat's on.
Wallabies to take this one with 7 - 12 points.

Scotland vs Argentina: Argentina's undoubtedly been the stars of this World Cup. No real surprise, really... Their recent record against France speaks for itself. Hell, they even secured a victory against the World Champions at Twickenham before the Springboks managed to... It's a pity they haven't played that often against their Southern Hemisphere counterparts in recent years... Maybe we're a little bit scared of losing against these boys??
Scotland couldn't score a try against Italy.. Do I need to say more? Against the Argies it won't be any easier.. Sure, Chris Patterson will kick the points when they're on offer, but oportunities might be limited. To win this one, they're gonna have to create tries, and I just can't see that quite happening against the Argenitian defence.
Argies by 15

Then, the Boks vs Fiji: All I have to say about this one, is to add a quote from Jake White: "if the Springboks can't beat Fiji and possibly Argentina to reach a World Cup final, they don't deserve to be here".
They won't be complacent, they won't underestimate the Fijians. Don't try to win the crowd over by playing a loose, sevens type game. Play it structured, strangle the life out of them the first 50 - 60 minutes, and then things might start opening up...
Boks by 20...

I'll sign off this week, by commenting on the following. I've been copping a fair amount of abuse from my Kiwi mates (surprise, surprise... yes, I do actually have friends... I have to pay most of them, but still..) this week, about my sudden love for the French. They're saying "you just want France to beat the AB's, because you're jealous and scared".. My reply to that: Spot on, I couldn't agree more with you, mate!!!
Why did the whole of South Africa enjoy the result of the 2005 Currie Cup final, when the Cheetahs came from behind to upset the Bulls??
Why did we enjoy it when Zimbabwe beat the Aussies in the recent 20/20 Cricket World Cup?
Or, why did the locals here in NZ start jumping up and down when Tonga was only one bounce away from upsetting the Boks?? Not because "it would've been great for world rugby had they won the game"... Kak man!! No, my chaainas - You know that would've put a serious dent in the Boks' title aspirations if they lost that one! And that's the truth, and that's all that matter!
At the end of the day, we're not all that different, it seems...

4 Days 20 Hours 49 Minutes and 43 Seconds

2007-09-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

No, that's not how long it took Alistair Coetzee to explain to Eddie Jones all the complex backline moves he's help crafted over the last 4 years for the Springboks... That's how much time, according to the official Rugby World Cup website, are left before the festivities (pardon the pun..) kicks off in France.

So, this must be about the time the "I-have-played-testrugby-for-my-country-even-if-it-was-against-Cote d'Ivoire-in-1995!" ex-players start telling us who they think "might win it", or the (even better value for money) "Because-they-smashed-my-team-on-a-continuous-basis-my-bosses-fired-my-ass-but-I-still-have-an-opinion" ex-coaches are also quoted in the media saying "the AB's have peaked already" and are therefore "destined to fail in France". So, why should I be any different??

But, to just follow suit and say "I fink da Springboks can wins it" will be about as lame as Andrew Johns' claims that it was some stranger who placed that pill in his pocket.. So, let's try and make it a little bit more interesting.

In case you missed it, I kinda like sport.. And if there's one game I enjoy almost as much as rugby union (or league... or tennis... or cricket... or golf... or women's beach volleyball...) its soccer. So, I thought: why not compare the rugby nations to their soccer counterparts at the world cup?

First up are the All Blacks. They're like Brasil. They keep producing naturally gifted players. They play an attractive and expansive game. They're the red hot favourites at the start of every world cup. But, then again: both have mucked up in the past, when everybody expected all they had to do, was turn up to win the tournament...
Player to watch: Andy Ellis... Can somebody explain what the hell he's doing there?? "Andy's great form for the Junior All Blacks secured his spot in the squad". Sounds a bit like a new Tui ad... YEAH, RIGHT! Piri might have the same dietician as Ricky Januarie, but he was pretty unlucky to miss out.
Weakness(es): 1.) Their line out. No, not just Mealamu and Oliver's dodgy throwing, but also the fitness of the locks - Keith Robinson seems to pull a hamstring or calve muscle by just thinking about Victor Matfield and Bakkies Botha...
2.) Centre - Tana's been gone for almost two seasons, but still no permanent and settled replacement. Expect further tinkering during the WC. Just who'll start in a possible final? Toeava, Smith or Muliaina? Mmmm... Funny how they pick brilliant fullbacks at centre during their World Cup campaigns.. in '99 it was Cullen, '03 Macdonald.. and we all know how that ended..
Verdict: The AB's are the number one team for a reason - the rest of the rugby world are hoping for a hiccup in a one off game, but not sure if that'll happen this time round.

France are like Argentina. They've got the players, they've got the history; we all know they can play. If they get it right, they're lethal, but that's just the thing: they haven't really done anything special on the big stage for ages. People are still referring to that magic comeback against the AB's in '99, but come on: that was 8 years ago!!
Player to watch: Remy Martin... Eish, any guy who's named after a brandy MUST be a legend!
Weakness(es): 1.) The so called "French unpredictability". Brilliant today, pi$$ poor tomorrow!!
2.) The AB's put 40 + points past them in 5 of their last 6 contests. They may have a superior record against the other nations of late, but they're not the AB's bogey team, as we like to refer to them as..
Verdict: They're playing at home, and that is huge. If they can actually get through their pool unscathed, who knows...

England is like..... England!!! They've won the cup once, and will therefore never allow us to forget about that! (hold on... are we talking about the South Africans here??)
Their domestic rugby/soccer competitions are filled with overseas players, which must surely impact the development of the local youngsters.
Player to watch: Andy Farrell.. Just another hyped up, overrated league convert? Possibly (only just) quicker than Brian Ashton (England's coach) over a 100m dash.
Weakness: Their backline play. Not able to score a single try against France over the space of 160 minutes is a major concern, full stop!
Verdict: They might be the defending champions, but they're just not good enough now. Ashton and Dallaglio can claim the underdog status is a "real positive", bla, bla, bla... Just like I had to admit 4 years ago passion and pride weren't enough to pull the Boks through a quarter/semi and final over 3 consecutive weekends, I guess you can say the same about the English this time round.

The Wallabies are like Germany. Even though their domestic/provincial scene is not the biggest and greatest and you'd expect them to eventualy slip off the radar, they pretty much always reach the semi finals, and you can't ever write them off. Champs in '91 and '99, as well as beaten finalists in '03, when nobody gave them a chance to upset the AB's..
Player to watch: Lote Tuqiri - the most expensive player in Aussie, and he knows it! Has apparantly spent hours sharpening his drinking game skills for France.. Would be interesting to see if he can do what he's paid for and actually score a try for a change, and not feature in the papers for his late night escapades...
Verdict: They'll cruise through their pool, and are possibly scheduled to meet the AB's in the semis. That's unfortunately as good as it'll get this time round. Their away from home record is about as impressive as the Springboks', plus they haven't beaten the All Blacks away from home since 2000...

And then we have the Springboks... They're like Italy. They have both won a World Cup... They're frequently criticized for their playing style, for being too predictable and boring... The off-the-field antics are well known an publicized - if it's not the Luke Watson saga, it's Juventus' demotion to the lower leagues due to match fixing allegations... The similarities are quite frightening, but also embarrassing!! Mmmm... but then again: we all know who won the soccer/football World Cup in 2006, don't we?

R.I.P Bokke?

2007-07-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

Is Springbok rugby dead?
Nope, Butana Komphela and Cedrick Frolick didn't secure a majority vote in a secret overnight meeting to decide the fate of the Bok emblem. (Well, with plonkers like that you never know, but for the time being the Bok emblem's still "safe", I believe...)

I'll start by mentioning the performance on Saturday night in Sydney, against the Wallabies.

In the build up to the test match, Jake and Bobby were very positive, talking up the chances of our "B-team". "All the pressure were on the Wallabies", and Bob even said we "should expect to see them play Bulls rugby".. (Well, Blobby: you have nooooo idea how much it hurts to admit this, but the last time I checked the Bulls were actually winning, ma' china.....)

Before kick off, I was hoping for another classic "backs against the wall" performance from the Bokke. I mean, the stage was perfectly set: Aussie have been doing most of the talking during the week - They were extremely vocal about Jake snubbing them (by resting his top players), and it would've been a major embarrassment if the Wallabies were to lose against the B-grade Boks. So, Jake indeed hit the nail on the head by saying "all the pressure are on them".
Hell, we even had the dream start I was hoping for! After 13 minutes the score was 17 - 0. Ok, a fair amount of luck was involved, but still..... In test rugby you take-a-the-points, hey! But, then it happened.... For some strange reason, we stopped "playing". For the next 67 minutes I had to sit and watch a natural talent like Ruan Pienaar opting to play "dryfings" with Julian Huxley, and CJ and co just being synical by trying to waste as much time as possible... And, if that wasn't enough, we also had to witness how Gary and Johan received their marching orders from Your Royal Honiss for some stupid actions....

To watch the Boks lose, REALLY, really sucks! Heck, to watch them lose against the Wallabies is even more hurtful.. But to read afterwards how the coach said "even when we were leading 17 - 0, I still didn't think we could win it" really, really, really sucks!!!! How on earth can you expect the NZRU and ARU to take you seriously, when it seems you don't even believe it yourself that these players are capable of winning a game on tour???? Just what exactly must the players be thinking? "Ok, no need to worry about the AB's this weekend... Coach doesn't think we can do it, so we're going to get smashed in any case.."
The All Blacks are saying how desperate they are to get back to winning ways this weekend in Christchurch. If the Boks actually believe they don't stand a chance, they're on a hiding to nothing. Eissssh.....

The feeling amongst the supporters after the defeat in Sydney is also one of "ag, don't worry, we'll get them in the World Cup later this year". Since when have we stopped giving a damn about the result in test matches? Last time I checked SARU were still handing out test caps for these! I don't know, but aren't we getting a little bit carried away with the World Cup issue? (just like the Kiwi's) It's like we don't give a $hit about what's happening in between?

And, if that's not depressing enough, the list of SA rugby players playing abroad are growing by the day. No longer is it just a player in the twilight of his career leaving. Young players like Ronnie Cooke, Corniel van Zyl and Phillip Burger have all committed to French clubs recently. (Funny how a couple of years ago we would've been fuming if we heard something like this. Nowadays it's almost an "ok, good for them" feeling..)
Nick Mallett also ruffled feathers at SARU, by apparantly explaining "quota selections" to the French Clubs. SARU's Mveleli Ncula would like the rest of the world to believe it's purely because of financial reasons (make no mistake: financial security obviously plays a big part) that the players are leaving, but the truth is they probably all had enough of the politics in SA rugby.. Why should they put up with it, when they can concentrate on purely doing their job, in other words playing rugby in say England, France or Italy, and in the process earn top dollar?

So, Butana Kompela, Cedrick Frolick and co may well be on a mission to kill the Springbok, but I'm affraid it might be confined to the ICU already...

The Secret Diary of Jake White

2007-06-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

Friday, June 8: Yeehaa! Bring on the weekend!! Team manager, Zola Yeye (or "Manny" as Smittie affectionately call him...) asked if I would be free to meet with him, Vusi Kama, Mac Hendriks and some distinguished members of the media tonight at News Cafe. Just to "soften them up a bit", he said. Anyways, who am I to decline? Free dinner and booze on a Friday night.. Hellloooo!! What more could a guy ask for? Just hope things don't get too rowdy.. Have to be on my best behaviour again tomorrow.
Note to self: Remember to keep saying Ricky Januarie is better than Ruan Pienaar. People, including myself, might actually start to believe it. (or, let's hope Butana Khompela picks up I'm the one who started the rumour, and give us back our passports to go to France in September.)

Saturday, June 9: Eish!! Woke up with a killer headache this morning. I sure can't knock them back like I used to. I just hope that Luke Watson can keep his trap shut for more than 5 minutes in the team bus this morning. My head feels like it's about to explode!
Last night was quite fun. Or, that was until that Adnaan Mohamed from "Die Son" turned up!! Who the hell invited him in any case? I though Zola said we'd meet with some "distinguished" members of the media? Gmf, his newspaper is so trashy, they won't even publish something written by Big Pik.. But, after a couple of whiskey's, I gave that Adnaan a piece of my mind! I can't wait to tell Smittie.. He'll be so proud of me for sticking up for him.
Note to self: Invite that Colin guy we met last night over for a braai sometime. He sure cracks me up!

Sunday, June 10: Not my best day... The papers all mention my altercation with Adnaan at News Cafe... Stoffie (Mike) are quoted saying SARU will have to launch an investigation into the matter this week. I sure hope I don't get into too much trouble!!
The rugby writers are also not too happy whiff our performance against Samoa, and the fact that we decided to skip the Samoans' rendition of traditional songs at the post match function also get a mention... To be honest, my headache was killing me, and I just couldn't brace myself for anything like that.. Smittie and the boys also had to rush back to the hotel to initiate Waylon and that Luke Watson. He says it was quite enjoyable chucking darts at that Watson fella.. Nothing quite like a bit of a team bonding session to boost the team morale, hey...
Note to self: Delete Colin's phone number from cellphone..

Monday, June 11: Team doc, Yusuf Hassan, had a proper look at Ricky's knee, and it's been confirmed he'll be out of action for a couple of weeks. Still a bit in the dark at the moment: Not sure if I'll be allowed to include Ruan at scrumhalf now, or if that means Wayne Julies or Lawrence Sephaka will have to shift to number 9... Waiting to hear Oregon and Stoffie's decision... But, in the meantime Alistair Coetzee said he's willing to put his body on the line for his country against the Wallabies. I don't really know how to break the news to the guy.. I don't rate him as a backline coach, let alone think he's good enough to start for my team, to be honest.. Full marks for trying, though!
Looks like that Watson guy also has an injury niggle.. To be honest, I didn't even bother to hear what Doc had to say about the injury.. I just told him to go pack his bags...
Andre Pretorius apparantly still struggles with a "strained buttocks", which will prevent him from taking part in the Tri Nations. Funny thing is I also tend to develop cramps down there when I think of that Luke Watson, Oregon or Stoffie...
Note to self: Get that cramps checked out sometime this week....

Welcome to Boswell Wilkie Circus

2007-05-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

I know..... I should've written something last week. When, for once, all the bad press came out of NZ: It all started when Sivvi had to be officially reprimanded for "klapping" his wife. Then Ali "I am the greatest" Williams got sent home from SA for having "some rough edges to sort out". I thought that would be it, but no!!! Two (completely unconvincing) bogans from Christchurch (who acknowledged that they had a history of fighting and criminal charges) then claimed they were "violently attacked" by Crusaders players Rua "Golden Gloves" Tipoki, Raleb Calph and Jake "The Muss" Paringatai the night after the Crusaders vs Chiefs game. And to make matters even worse (obviously NOT if you're a Saffa living in Auckland...) the Sharks and Bulls then sent the Blues and Crusaders packing, and in the process secured the first ever all SA final in the super 12/14! (mmmm... no wonder Deirdre was woken by my psychotic screaming, and Daniël's decision to let rip with "Hie' kommie Bokke!!" at 03h05 on a Sunday morning...... SORRY!!)

But....... You can always count on South Africa to do one better, hey!!!! In true "how to completely f*ck up something - South African style!!", I now have to put up with the whole Luke Watson vs Jake White affair again this week, instead of reading about the two best teams in the Super 14 and their preperations for the final. How typical... I am so over it!!!

Thanks to the magic of the internet, I was "fortunate" enough to listen to the John Robbie vs Oregan Hoskins interview on this side of the world. What a complete waste of 8 minutes + 11 seconds..... And no, I don't think it was just Hoskins who came across as a complete tool in that interview!
Straight after that I had to read about "Hoskins and co bringing the game into disrepute" on Keo's website.. This just made me realise (again!!!) that it's not just SARU's fault for the sorry state of affairs, but the media have to take their share of the blame in the circus that is South African rugby. And with that, can I include those of you who just jump on the bandwagon and agree with everything the media conveniently decides to spin, in order to sell more of their newspapers, generate more hits on a website, or to prove to a board of directors they have achieved x amount of listeners this week!!!!

These are the same people, who criticized Jake White during last year's Tri Nations on his team selections. Who fed him to the wolves after a 49-0 defeat against the Wallabies... Who thought it would be best for SA rugby if he was to resign or be relieved from his duties after an appalling Tri Nations campaign and consecutive defeats against Ireland and (a rubbish) England... And, now when SARU interfears, and add a player to the extended training squad, they all jump on the high horse again, and start waving the finger, saying they're surprised Jake hasn't resigned. Talk about double standards!! Last season Luke Watson sold newspapers because he didn't make the squad, this year he's selling them because he did!

I don't care what you think of Luke Watson as a person- Yes, he is arrogant. Yes, he looked like a real to$$er on the cover of SA Sports Illustrated posing as Superman, and also did himself no favours with some of his comments about Jake White in the past. He looks funny with his "toyt pantsh and toyt jersey" on the playing field. He probably doesn't own a copy of Bok van Blerk's cd, he doesn't drive a double cab "bakkie", and he'll struggle to do an aftermatch speech in Afrikaans.. But, can he play rugby? Does he deserve to be in the extended Bok training squad, at the very least?
John Robbie was quick to point out to Hoskins' remark about him being the player of '06, that "that was indeed last year, mr Hoskins, and not this year".. So, how did Luke go in this year's super 14?
According to www.testrugby.com statistics as at 15.05.2007.

(in the following order) Games played, Line breaks, Turn overs, Posession lost, Penalties conceded, Tackles made, Tries scored

L.Watson 13 28 22 6 15 100 5
J.Botes 14 12 7 10 9 133 5
P.Wannenburg 14 12 4 11 5 44 4
W.van Heerden 14 3 18 12 15 100 6
K.Floors 13 17 7 6 4 53 4
C.Grobbelaar 13 8 7 8 4 98 0
E.Joubert 13 16 9 11 14 93 2
S.Burger 13 16 14 17 14 105 0
R.Mccaw 8 12 12 8 13 72 2
M.Holah 12 4 13 5 16 94 1
R.Kankowski 12 24 5 11 5 58 1

Looks like he did ok when compared to his opposition, you experts....

Jacques Botes has had a storming Super 14 campaign, and are indeed one of the unlucky players to have missed out. I can only hope a player of his quality will be rewarded in the not so distant future. The same goes for Bradley Barritt, Derrick Hougaard and Ryan Kankowski. Funny how all the talk is about Watson, but nothing's being said about the inclusion of Eddie Andrews and Tonderai Chavanga, who hasn't even played a single game of super rugby this year. Maybe they just don't sell as many newspapers....

The problem with Watson is personal, end of story. He's not good enough to force his way into the match 22 yet, but he should at the very least be considered for the top 45.... sorry 46 now thanks to SARU.
The media's reaction, by saying they're surprised Jake hasn't resigned yet, is pathetic. Also, SARU's alleged threat that "Jake's head could roll before the World Cup if his selections don't meet their expectations" ... If you believe all of this, I feel sorry for you. SA Rugby didn't fire Jake last year, when they had a valid reason to - in other words when his results warranted action. The reason they decided to stick with Jake, is simple: MONEY! It will cost a heap!!!

I say enjoy this weekend's final if you're Sharks or Bulls fan. You guys deserve it!! But, if the first shambolic week of the Springbok set-up is anything to go by, we might be in for a very long international season.... (sigh..)

Outwit.....Outplay.....Outlast

2007-04-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

Outwit.... Outplay..... These words have probably never been used before to describe the performance of a South African super 14 franchise against New Zealand opposition away from home...
But, that's exactly what happened last Saturday in the Blues vs Sharks match at North Harbour Stadium in Albany.

In the week before the game, Blues players were quoted saying their aim would be to make things as tough as possible for Ruan Pienaar. To prevent the exciting youngster from getting quick ball to his outside backs. Just a pity that on the night the Sharks had to go do exactly that to Steve Devine...
David Nuke 'em-fora can point the finger to Stuart "Yes, I'm a-Dick"inson and dodgy Sharks tactics for his side's shock loss, but the fact of the matter is just that his team were never allowed an oportunity to get going in the match. The Sharks defence was solid, the kicking clever - how about THAT drop kick- and the pressure outstanding. Okay, they didn't quite sustain it for the full 80 minutes, but by the time the Blues scored their first try, the damage was already done.
Nuke'em-fora also complained about Sammy Torpedo's yellow card, and only saw Johan Ackerman throwing the first punch.. Just a pity he failed to mention Nacewa's attempted elbow on Monty in the first half...

I've heard people say the Sharks have shown their hand, and will be shown up by the Chiefs this Saturday in Hamilton. It might still prove to be the case, but the Sharks have proved against (the rubbish) Reds they can score tries out wide. The Chiefs on the other hand smashed the Force last weekend, but also conceded 36 points in the process. Their defence is shaky, and dare I mention the name of Tasesa Lavea as a possible weakness? (This one will probably come back to bite me, but hey......)
It's not rocket science, but if the Sharks manage to win this one, they're a step closer to securing that home semi final. And, if the Chiefs get the win, they keep the semi final dream alive. Not bad for a team who only won 4 of their 10 games so far!!

Lastly, I guess I should say "congrats" to the Bulls for their performance at Loftus last weekend... (arrrrrrrr....) For those Stormers supporters who've been complaining about our teams' inconsitancy so far this season, don't worry: I'm sure we'll be consistant this weekend! It'll be our first consecutive defeat in the competition this season.....

Big Pik's picks for the weekend:
Crusaders
Brumbies
Cheetahs
Sharks
Highlanders
Lions (sorry, I just can't back them Bulls....)
Blues

It's now how you start, but how you finish....

2007-04-11T04:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure we've all heard these words before. Years ago Naas Botha was quoted saying "the Currie Cup's not won in May", and more recently after the Sharks slumped to a second defeat in so many weeks, every single rugby writer made it his or her job to point out the fact that "they might've peaked too early" or "great start, but let's see where they finish"......
Now i must say these words of wisdom by the experts got me thinking - and yes, I know it must be hard to believe a one eyed Stormers supporter is actually capable of something like that - but forget about rugby for a moment, and let's focus on the cricket world cup.

It's probably an understatment to say the Proteas haven't really been impressive so far. They arrived at the tournament as the "number one ranked team in the world" - thanks for continuously pointing that one out, Graeme Smurf - but have looked far from it. Teams have made a mockery of Polly's economy rate, Kallis has been blamed for his tortoise-like batting and they lost to Bangladesh for varks steaks!!! The lack of variety in the bowling attack has also been exposed on numerous occasions.... (Oh, and did I mention the defeat to Bangladesh by any chance???) But..... But..... But..... The scary thing however, is that South Africa are still in the competition, and haven't been knocked out yet.... Even if they have been performing poorly!

And earlier today they managed to get their campaign back on track with a vital win against the Windies. AB managed to get a big score, Kallis kept the scoreboard ticking yet again, and Gibbs and Boucher secured the big score with their flurry at the end. Of course it was by no means a flawless victory - the fact that they couldn't finish off the tail must surely still be a big headache for Mickey Arthur and his troops - but it was at least a better result than the Bangladesh match.... So, with games against New Zealand and England left to play, one victory should be enough to let them advance to the semi's.

Now, that brings me to the Black Caps. They're unbeaten, and have been really impressive so far. Fleming, Fulton, Styris, Oram and Mccullum have all contributed with the bat. Bond and Vettori have been on fire with the ball. They've brushed aside the opposition by hardly breaking a sweat. Surely they must be sitting pretty to win the whole thing! But... But... But... Let's start by looking at their remaining matches - they still have Sri Lanka, SA and Aussie left to play in the space of a week....
What if Shane Bond gets injured?
And, what happens if the top order fails to get them off to a good start... Will the middle and lower order be able to do the job? (Just go look at South Africa's 1996 world cup campaign.. in the quarter finals against the West Indies the middle and lower order failed to get the job done, probably because they didn't spend enough time in the middle during the pool matches, when the batsmen did their job....)

So, I'm really looking forward to this weekend's match between the Black Caps and Proteas. What's the saying again? "It's not how you start, but how you finish". Suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Die opgetune'de All Blacks..

2007-03-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

Ek weetie wat die latest craze da innie Republiek oppie oomblik issie, ma hie in Kiwiland wassit mos nou "reconditioning" die laaste 3 maande gewees.....

Nou ek weet ek's partykeer seker ook ma' so geloofwaardig soos ou Jacob Zuma innie getuienisbank, ma' glo my "djou honour", as ek vi julle sê ek's lekke keelvol virrie hele "reconditioning" ding...

Dis soosie celebrities - elke tweede poephol neem ook lykkit my 'n arme bloedjie vanne 'n derde wêreld land aan! Dis asof dit die "must have" fashion accessory vannie maand is.. Selle met die onnersteuners in hierrie land! Ek meen, volgens Skaai tievie se Re-union program, dink 84% va hulle kykers reeds dis 'n "masterstroke"!!! Wow!! Dit na hulle supersterre een wedstryd gespeel het.... Ek's seker daarvan Dan Carter het daai cross-kick- na- Scott Hamilton- toe move geleer op sy oefen-(sorry reconditioning!!) kamp!!! Ek meen, hulle is after all mos nou "bigger, faster EN stronger!!" as almal.. (Ek moet sê ek het verwag Richie Mccaw gaan met 'n paar "tinted windows" en "mags" oppie veld verskyn, maar hy't vi my ma nog dieselle gelyk... maar net na 'n blerrie goeie rugbyspeler!)

Maar nou ja.... Ten minste is die supersterre terug, en ka die super 14 aangaan...

So, wat gaan gebeur hierrie naweek? Een ding wat darem 'n "banker" is, is dat die Stormers nie gaan verloor hierrie naweek nie...

Highlanders vs Cheetahs - ek hoop wraggies nie Carl Hayman het TE sterk en groot geraak op sy oefen-(sorry reconditioning!!) kamp nie...... Die Highlanders is wel die dunste NZ franchise, maar ek dink nog steeds hulle gaan die Cheetahs (blik)ore aansit... (Sorry Ivan! ek hoop julle bewys my verkeerd)

Highlanders met 7..

Force vs Sharks - Die koerante aan hierrie kant dink die Sharks het reeds "gepeak", en dat die nederlaag teen die Brumbies 'n "sign of things to come" was, maar ek dink nog steeds die Sharkies het te veel skietgoed voorlangs virrie Force. "Jetlag" behoort ook nie so 'n groot faktor te wees nie, want dis maar 'n 9 of 11 ure vlug van Jo'burg af Perth toe...

Sharks met 7.

Chiefs vs Blues - Die kenners sal wil sê dat die Blues gewoonlik sukkel teen die manne van Hamilton, maar die Blues is 'n baie beter span hierrie jaar. So maklik soos dit.... Ek sien uit na die hierrie ene: Braid, Kaino en Macdonald teen Messam, Luaki en Holah.

Blues met 12...

Hurricanes vs Bulle - Die Hurricanes is rubbish... Hoekom sê ek so?? Omdat hulle getrap is deurie Stormers...

Laasweek se oorwinning teen die Highlanders, en die feit dat dit die laaste wedstryd op toer is, behoort genoeg motivering virrie Bulle te wees. Tel daarby die feit dat die Canes moes terugvlieg van SA af, en ek sien 'n Blou Saterrag wat vi Wellington wat voorlê.... (hoekom voel ek ewe skielik so naar?)

Bulle met 9..

Waratahs vs Crusaders - Verlede jaar was die Force die vloerlap vannie kompetisie. Hierrie jaar is dit die klomp wintgatte van Sydney se beurt (jy kan sien ek's verlig die Stormers kon hulle darem wen!!) Dinge kan seker nie k@kker in Waratah land nie, maar ek kan regtig nie sien hoe hulle die Crusaders kan upset nie... Hulle mis Matt Rogers, Phil Waugh, Phil Whitaker en Dan Vickermann maar net te kwaai..

Crusaders met 15..

lekker naweek

Big Pik

Baie byt...

2007-03-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

Oraait, die afgelope naweek was nie so goed soos laasnaweek virrie SA spanne innie super 14 nie, maar nou ja.... Die Lions het gespeel teen 'n baaaaie goeie Blues span, ennie Stormers.... Well nou ja.... Ek willie nou al my bloeddruk opja nie, so ko ons praat maar laaste oor hulle vandag......

Wat mens wel ka sê, is "Well done Sharkies"..... en seker ook da maar "Well done Bulle...." (Again, ek sal seker weer innie stort moet ga huil oor daai laaste comment vanaand....)

Sommige kenners sal seker ka moan oorie feit dat die Sharks nog nie 'n bonsupunt verwerf het na 5 rondtes nie, ma ten minste is hulle nog unbeaten! (Die enigste span innie kompetisie, op hierrie stadium, may i add!) Ek's seker daarvan die "vanne Merwe grappe va Kaapstad" sal wat wil gee vi so 'n rekord.....
En oukei, hulle het miskien'n gunstige draw hierrie jaar, maar dit veranner niks aan die feit dat hulle tot dusver actually al hulle tuiswedstryde gewen hettie. (nogge rekord waarop die outjies va Kaapstad maar net oor ka droom....) Te veel spanne bank oppie "home ground advantage" deesdae, sonner enige sukses.
Ek lees baie mense beginne al te praat vannie Sharks se opkomende Australasië toer, en "dit sal interessant wees om te sien hoe hulle vaar", ma ek dink wee die volgende twee naweke gaan vital virrie Sharks se campaign wees. Die Canes ennie Brampies lê nog voor, pappas! En dis twee wedstryde wat die Sharks kan en MOET wen. Maakie saak wat die mees stoere Canes of Brampie supporter vi jou wil laat glo nie, maar albei spanne was maar "average" gewees tot dusver hierrie seisoen. (Die Canes is after all afgeslag deurie Stormers in NZ, so enough said..... )En alhoewel die Brampies weer Vrydagaand virrie Stormers op hulle neuse laat kyk het, wonner ek net hoe op dees aarde hulle NIE die bonuspunt drie kon verwerf het teen 'n Stormers span wat omtrent so effektief oppie verdediging was as DjyPie Nel se teenwoordigheid by 'n "Help jou naaste" saamtrek....
Mortlock was op sy inspiring best teenie Stormers, maar Julian Huxley is nou maar nie Stephen Larkham nie.... (alhoewel hy verseker probeer om net soveel pleisters op te plak as Larkham...) En sorry, ma sonner Larkham impress hulle my steeds nie. (Is is dit blote toeval dat hulle sonner menere Mortlock en Larkham omtrent geen drieë kon druk nie? I think not.......)

Dan die Canes: Ek weet hulle spog met spelers soos Tana, Nonu, Conrad Smith, die opwindende David Smith en Corey Jane in hulle agterlyn, ma hulle was noggie regtig kookwater tot dusver nie....Hulle was baaaaie gelukkig om te wen teenie Brampies, en het amper danksy Mark Lawrence ook gewen teenie Force laasnaweek. Plus, het ek al genoem dat hulle opgesaag is deurie Stormers die anner dag????? En jaaa, ek weet die terugkoms va hulle All Blacks spelers gaan 'n verskil maak voorlangs, maar dit kan reeds dalk al 'n geval wees va "too little, too late".... (weet ook noggie wanneer Jerry en co hulle actual terugkeer ga maakie.... Dalk feature hulle nog nie eers teenie Sharks nie?) Ek weetie hoekom nie, maar ek dink net die Sharks behoort hulle te klap hierrie naweek... (sorry Smittie: ek mag dalk sopas die "curse of Big Pik" op julle gesit het.....)

Da moet ek seker ook iets (nice) sê oorie Bulle........ Kyk, virre span wat traditionally nervous en homesick raak tydens die busrit vannie hotel na Loftus toe oppe Saterrag, om back to back oorwinnings in Aussie te behaal, moet ek seker maar sê welgedaan..... Net jammer DjyPie het (weereens) 'n breindood oomblik beleef. Sy skorsing van 3 wedstryde ka julle dalk nog duur te staan kom oorie volgende paar weke...

Die Lions is ook terug moeder Aarde toe gebring na hulle nederlaag teenie Blues. Dit was nou soos ou Jake sê 'n geval va "matrics against std 6'ers"... Ek's baie verras met hulle resultate tot dusver, maar ek's net bang hulle wiele kom nou af.. Hierrie naweek lê die Chiefs ook nog vi hulle en wag, en ongelukkig issie Chiefs due 'n wen virre slag.. Ek ka maar net hoop die jong, onbekende Leeus kruip nie nou in hulle dop, en dat die Cats wee hulle verskyning maak virrie res vannie toernooi nie.....

Die Cheetahs issie SA span (naas die Stormers natuurlik) wat my die meeste bekommer oppie oomblik. Die nederlaag teenie Crusaders, ennie gelykop uitslag teenie Chiefs het Rassie ennie manne kwaai seergemaak.. Hulle oorsese toer lê ook nog voor....

Dan laaste kom ons byrrie Stormers.... Hulle is die span wat nuwe betekenis aan die woord "inconsistent" gee tot dusver (vi nogge jaar!!!!) Ek is seker ou Kobus moet maar saam met my begin werk soek.. (alhoewel ek hom nie vir alles sal blameer nie.. Hier moet die spelers ook hulle hanne 'n slag opsteek!) Daar's groooot fout in daai hele setup!
Ek voorspel egter die volgende sal gebeur hierrie week: Die media wat vi Kobus, Luke en co (met reg!!) 'n harre tyd wee gee.. Kobus wat sê "we're going back to basics".... Jean, of een of anner mede superster innie backline wat vi almal wil vertel "alles is noggie verlore nie", of "die gees is fantasties", "ons hoop om ons onnersteuners trots te maak".. Dan Saterrag verras hulle maar weer vriend en vyand en laat sê die Waratahs les op... en dan's Kobus maar weer "safe" vir nogge 'n week... Ongelukkig sallit nie wees omdat hulle uiteindelik hulle vinger uit hulle you-know-what getrek het nie, maar net omdat die Waratahs nog meer innie k@k assie Stormers oppie oomblik is.. Hulle mis vi Matt Rogers, Phil Waugh en Dan Vickermann.. Tiquiri se mindgames mettie ARU help ook nie juis nie, en lyk my hulle supporters het ook vinnger moed opgegee assie Stormers s'n, na hulle geploeter teenie Force ennie Bulle..... En, dan dink die Stormers hulle het dinge moeilik..

cheersie
ek-bly-ongelukkig-nog-allie-pad-'n-Stormer Pik

Dear Daairie......

2007-02-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

Kobus vanne Merwe - a.k.a "Super Coach":

Dear Daairie,
Ek's effe bekommerd vandag.. Vroulief het laat weet die videomasjien het gisteraand gebreek, en sy weetie of sy hierrie Sondag die 7de Laan omnibus vir my kan tape nie. Agge nee!! Ek kan mos onmoontlik nie my gunsteling program mis nie!! Maar nou ja..... "always look at the bright side, i suppose...." Dis seker darem ook nie die einde vannie wêreld nie... Ek meen, ek kon 'n mislukking as 'n coach gewees het, met 'n misrabele rekord soos 4 uit 17....

Bolla "pass the dutchie" Conradie

Dear Daairie,

Coach sê "express yourself", en ons moet net aanhou ons natural game speel op hierrie toer. So, dalk kan ons hierrie naweek my dubbel-trippel-dissie-juis-vi-iemand-in-besonder-nie skiep pass probeer!! Ek werk al lank aan daai ene! Oooh, as hy actually gaan afkom, gaan dit seriously spectacular lyk.....

Jean "butterfingers" de Villiers

Dear Daairie,

Vandag was baie tough... Nie net het ek 'n "bad hairday" gehad nie, coach het my ook nog 14h00 laat opstaan om te rapporteer by die oefenveld.. Ek moet sê, ek het eers gedink hy joke met my!! I mean, come on!! Ek's 'n Springbok!!! Vi wat moet ek my tyd mors met oefeninge??? Maar, nou ja..... Ek het toe maar op die ou einde besluit om te gaan. Bolla het hierrie hiper cool skiep move aan ons verduidelik wat ons beslis die naweek wil probeer... Maar, ag wat... Dalk het ons dit nie eers nodig nie, ek hoef dalk net weer 'n onnerskep drie te druk....

Lost

2007-01-31T18:59:00.000-08:00

Howzit peepilz!!!

Just in case we haven't spoken to each other in a while: "Happy, New Year!!!" I really hope your favourite rugby team(s) will provide you with happy memories in 2007. (please note: this obviously does NOT apply to you Blue Bull supporters out there... Gmf... Did you really think "to be nice" were one of my new years resolutions??????)

I have to say one thing I have noticed now that the holiday season is officially something of the past, is the return of my favourite tv programs at night on the telly. And all of that got me thinking a bit: With all the drama (and sometimes comedy!) in SA Rugby, it really does remind me of television sometimes....

The Bulls remind me of Shortland Street: Sure, the story line is predictable, the acting is cr@p, and the whole setup just makes you cringe at the best of times, BUT it's popular... And even if you do watch an episode here and there, you'll never ever admit that to your mates in public.
So, how about the Bulls on the rugby field? You KNOW they'll drive it up 5 metres from the line... You know they'll play the Blue Bull song over and over again.... You know Gary Botha and Victor Matfield can't do an interview in English.... But, even if they are better than Western Province, you'll NEVER admit to that in public!!!!

Next up are the Cheetahs. They're like a really "feel good", "cheesy" program. Something like Ugly Betty... Let's face it: Betty's not really what you can call a hottie, but she's a hard worker, and has "such a nice personality"....
The Cheetahs aren't the flashiest team in the world and their players aren't exactly known for their lucrative modelling contracts off the field. They are, well..... just rugby players!! But 3 consecutive Currie Cup finals in 3 years isn't something we take lightly in the Republic... And, who'll ever forget the "come from behind victory against the Bulls in 2005? If that's not "feel good", I don't know!!!

The Lions remind me of Prison Break... "What could possibly go wrong next????" Even if Schofield manages to dodge a bullet during this week's episode, you just know trouble will be not too far away....
On paper the Lions look a bit on the thin side. Serious injuries to their key players, Andre Pretorius and Jaques Fourie, and they're in deep trouble. And let's face it: Those two have been plagued by injury lately, so Lions fans already expect the worst.......

The Sharks, with SA rugby's "forgotten boys", Bob Skinstad and Percy Montgomery, remind me of Boston Legal. Or, let's rather say James Spader and William Shatner in particular. Both actors made a very memorable and succesful comeback with the show. For Bobby's sake I hope his comeback isn't as embarrassing as Sly Stallone's latest instalment of Rocky..........

And then, of course, we have my beloved Stormers. They remind me of the season finale(s) of Lost.... So much promises before hand of "all your questions will be answered, or "this is the one you've been waiting for", but at the end of it, you just feel more and more confused, and if you really think about it: absolutely nothing happened!! What a disappointment!!!

I really hope you don't disappointment me this year, Stormers!!!

cheersie
Big Pik

Ek het julle nou genoeg gedra....

2006-11-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

Oy, Jake!

Don't worry: Ek gaanie soosie res va hulle vinger wys oor julle defense laas naweek nie.... Want, let's face it: da WASSIE FAKKA defense nie!!!

Maar, ek's seker weer te taf op julle... Of course is daar "a lot of positves we can take from this defeat"..... 2 jaar terug het julle naelskraap verloor teenie Paddies, hierrie keer is ons behoorlik afgeransel! Ten minste kan niemand sê Bok rugby stagneer nie...

Ek wonner maar net WAT presies julle gedoen het op daai "oefenkamp" nourriedag? Jy weet, die een na die Tri Nations.. As ek julle nou moet judge na Saterrag se fiasko, glo ek egter nie daar's veel rugby gepraat op daai kamp nie.... Nee wat: glo eerder Habana en Jeanius het ure oppie internet spandeer om te check wa die hot spots in Parys, Nice of Biarritz is om uit te hang vlge jaar innie World Cup, i.p.v om te worry oor verdedigingslyne, etc, etc....

Ten minste het Ricky Januarie daai ekstra spietkopklasse waarop jy hom gestuur het, ernstig opgeneem!! Kyk, hy kan darem nou vi jou behoorlik waai met sy arms om vi sy forwards (ennie opposition for that matter...) te beduie wa presies die bal lê... Dis tog vi my net so hartseer da was omtrent nooit 'n voorspeler in sig wat hom ko help ommie rucks skoon te maak nie.... Nee: jy glo mos net in ball carrying losvoorspelers!! Die val toe behoorlik oor mekaar se voete, om betyds terug te wees, ommie " bal te dra" vi jou.... Die gevolg is/was dan 'n turnover, of super starrige bal vi ons backs.....Note to Joke: Jy kannie 'n ball carrier wees sonner die ball in jou hanne nie, jou doo$"......

Ma' oukei, genoeg gegil oor die Ierland toets..... Wat help dit ook ek raas? Jy mosse eks-onnerwyser, en julle's mos nooit verkeerd nie.....

Komende Saterrag issit wee julle ennie Twickenham-faktor... Al wat ek ka sê is "STERKTE". Argentinië het jou ookie juis favours gedoen met hulle upset victory nie... Ek's ma' net bly ek's nie mee in London nie.... Cabbage Patch en Rugby Tavern da naby Twickenham sou weer baie bier aan my moes verkoop het ommie pyn minner te maak... En, text my ma' die score, want ek gaan ook nie moeite doen om op te staan virrie toets nie.... (jaaa, jy't reg gehoor, ou Joke...)

Ek sluit af met 'n paar van my gunsteling Jake'isms hierrie week:
"Brian only had 5 days to settle into the squad"....... mmmmmmmm..... snaaks hoe 'n speler wat al 2 jaar lank deel vannie set up is, nie genoeg tyd gehad het nie.... Ironies genoeg het Argentinië net 4 dae se voorbereiding nodig gehad om vi Engeland op te neuk....
"We're lacking height in the back 3"......... beteken dit ons gaan vi Johan Ackermann dalk op fullback sien hierrie week? Nee, dis absurd: dit sal beteken jy kies 'n speler uit posisie.....
"We're working towards winning the World Cup next year"....... ooops, dit wassie jy nie, dit was Graham Henry wat dit gesê het....

tjars
Big Pik

"Hy's net 'n dronk pampoen......"

2006-10-11T17:18:00.000-07:00

Ai, wassit nie lekker omme slag biejie laaif Karrie Kap rugby te kykkie!!! Ek en Vlammie was behoorlik opgesaaik, en opgewonne!! Klokslag 01h30 Sondagoggend skakel Sky se Rugby Channel mos toe oor Moftus Versfeld toe.. Laf-lie blue skies wat ons begroet, mette volgepakte stadion!! AAah, rugby-voetbal innie Republiek.... Good times!!
Dit het egter net 5 sekondes geduur om my te laat besef hoekom ek gewoonlik spuitpoep ontwikkel as jy die woorde "blou" en "bul" mix innie selle sentence....
First up was Pretoria se trots: the one, the only - Steve Dofmeyer!!!!!! "Daarsy, lekker....mense!! Sing saam, julle almal ken hierdie ene!" begin hy... Net jammer Stevie het nie besluit om liefs te "mime" terwyl sy "The best of" cd oorie luidsprekers blêr nie! Steve, so bietjie advies: AS jy weer 'n gig by Loftus kry (en let's face it, hy SAL, want daar's niemand anners wat verniet daar wil optree nie!!!!), ennie Red Hearts is oppie huis, moet jy net pace ou grote!! Help nie jy vergryp jouself aanie free alkoholiese nibbles nie! Die eindresultaat sal weer net presies dieselle wees as laas Saterrag: Jy wat vals en vannie beat af traai karaoke op jou eie faktap song, net om innie middel va jou effort te besef dis ma beter om eerder te mime!!! (use it, don't use it....)

Maar: volpunte aanie Blou Bul rugby-unie!! Ek kannie sê dit was nie entertaining nie. Ook, die "personal touch", om Steve se naam op sy trui te sit... How original and innovating!!!! Dit het seker gehelp later die aand toe ou Steve nie meer in staat was om sy naam te kan onthou nie.....

But, after all was daar actually rugby gespeel Saterragmirrag op Moftus! Ek hoor sommige Province supporters is unhappy met Marius Jonker se hantering vannie game... "Waar wassie geel kaarte virrie Bulle se repeated offenders?"... "Hoeveel keer het hy hulle nie gewaarsku nie?" Kom nou ouens, moenie so ongevoelig wees nie!!! Dalk het Gary en co bloot nie verstaan wat hy bedoel het nie! Ek meen, Gary het sy victory speech in Afrikaans gedoen na die tyd, so dalk verstaan hy/hulle nie die Engels so lekker nie....

Maar, ons moet seker congrats sê virrie Bulle.... Die beter span het gewen oppie dag... (oukei, sal weer innie stort huil vanaand oor daai comment...)

So, dit bring ons by komende Saterrag se finaal: Dit kom nou seker as 'n massive shock vi julle almal, maar ek hoop die Cheetahs trek hom deur!! Of dit egter moontlik gaan wees, weet ek nie so lekker nie....

But, for what it's worth: Prooooooooooooooovince!! Die Karrie Kap kom weeeee!

"Yo Big Pik - I did it!!"

2006-09-08T03:51:00.000-07:00

Ja, chaaina!! I did it!! 21 - 20 was good enough to convince the idiotic SA public and media we're on the way to win the World Cup! Whoohoo!!
All I had to do, was to ask at the press conference: "Name the 1 team who has beaten the AB's on two occasions over the last year?"...... (note to self: remember to thank Smittie for helping me remind the public and media about that one...)

I mean, it's not as if Rodney Snot-Koala gifted us with 10 points.. Or, their line out codes were hard to crack.... Or, as if they had the Tri Nations wrapped up ages ago.... Come on!! SA rugby supporters should be greatful for the win!

Pik, you asked me to change the team, and I delivered. Ok, the fact that injuries forced my hand, and I had no choice left but to call on Pedrie and AJ, doesn't matter.... They played really well, but I honestly can't tell you if they'll be included in the squad for the end of year tour. As you know, I don't just hand out Bok blazers! It's bloory expensive!! What about the injured stars, Pedrie and AJ had to replace at such short notice?? Danie Rossouw will be back to full fitness in a couple of weeks, and I know what he has to offer as a loose forward.. I mean, can AJ play lock? Plus, I was tempted to play Albert at 7 in Pretoria the other week. I read somewhere he played flank for Griquas in 1997...

The catch phrase of the week, is "CONTINUITY", Big Pik!! Remember!! And that's exactly why I decided to pick Wynand completely out of position for this weekend's game. He was part of the winning team last weekend, so he deserves to start again tomorrow!! So what if he's playing out of position?? Just be glad Os recovered in time from his injury....
I mean, just to show everyone who's boss, and to mess a little bit more with him, I asked Brent Russell to join the squad in the beginning of the week. But I knew from the start I didn't really feel like including him in the team. So, we released him again yesterday, and he'll be playing Currie Cup rugby instead this weekend. I mean, why play him?? Has he ever scored a try for the Boks at wing?? Or, has he ever ripped the Aussie defence apart before? ?????? After all: Making him stay behind class seemed to have done the trick, 'cause Breyten had a haircut and I've decided to include him instead...
Now, I've included that Pietersen laaitie as well this week... I'm a bit nervous, 'cause I know what we have in Percy at fullback, you know... I hope he is half as good as you keep telling me!!

Ok, gotta run ou Pik... I have to make my way to a press conference now. I've decided to try a different approach this week, to unrattle the Wallabies: Think I'll tell the press that "we're going to target them up front".....

Your coach
Joke

Dertigduisend 5 inne ry!!!!!

2006-08-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

Hi Joke,

Jissie, ou grote!!! Hoe voellit om te kan sê "ons het hom!!!" I trust a congratulations is in order? Ek moes innie argiewe gaat krap het om te sien wanneer laas ons die "dertigduisend 5 inne ry" gewen het!! Apparantly wassit laas innie 60's wat die Bokkies 5 inne ry verloor het... Well done, bra!! Ek glo virre coach wat lief is ommie stats aan te haal op perskonferensies, is hierrie seker die altemit!! (note to Jake: Selfs nie eers Dolfie het 5 inne ry verloor nie.... Miskien moet jy ook maar die manne laat poedelnakend in damme rondhardloop...)

Ek willie op jou begin gil nie, maar ek weetie meer WAT om vi jou te skryf, bloot om jou net te oorreed om jou maaind te tjains nie!!! Wanneer gaat JY agterkom dit help nie om die hele mirrag dryfings te probeer speel teenie All Blacks nie... Ek meen, vat nou maar 'n leaf uit Nelly Furtarded se boek: Sy't agtergekom dissie meer cool om "like a bird" rond te vlieg nie, en het besef al hoe sy haar dodgy stembande verder gaan kan bemark, is om ook maar soos 'n skamelgeklede staatstmatras oppie tievie rond te spring soosie res va hulle..... Daarmee bedoel ek nou NIE Jacques Cronje moet sy klere begin uitttrek as ons die National Anthem sing voorie game nie, ek bedoel eintlik net jy moet so bietjie ons tactics hersien!!!! Hel, is dit werklik so ingewikkeld??

En, yes, ek weet: "know me before you judge me", maar as jy aan depressie lei, of verslaaf is aan P, of alkoholiese versnapperinge, moet jy met iemand beginne praat daaroor!! Jy raak net weirder, en weirder byrrie dag!!! Jy sê nog laasweek Solly is die beste 6 innie land, maar jy haal hom vannie veld af na net 47 minute.... Wow!! Ruan issie beste skrumhalf innie land (and so say all of us...), maar hy kry 15 minute op fullback? Onthou, hy's R-U-A-N, en nie G-Y-S-I-E Pienaar nie!! Wat's next??? Brent Russell wat uitdraf op loskopstut, of JP Pietersen wat sy debuut maak op agsteman??

Ek weetie meer nie, Joke..... As julle Saterrag weer dieselle prut opdis teenie Blackies, laat jy my geen keuse nie...Ek en Daniël het solank die vorms beginne invul, ons dink daaraan om aan te sluit by Pt Zef se skaakklub, alhoewel hulle sê daar's lekkerder chicks byrrie dambord klub.... Julle laat ons geen keuse meer nie... 'n Grap isse grap, maar jy maakie 'n sambreel inne man se hol oopie... Jy's nie die een wat 01h00 oppe Sondagoggend moet luister na TJ, Mexted en Grant Nisbitt se kommentaar nie... Jy hoef ookie te hoor hoe Doug Howlett vir TJ tydens rustyd vertel "hy glo nie die Bokke kan 'n drie druk van 'n set move af nie".... Dissie so lekker nie!!!

So, ek smeek jou: Sluk jou pride, erken jou mistakes, en for five six: Tjaains jou game plan!!!!

Tjars

Big Pik

Luke, I'm not your father....

2006-08-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Big Pik,

Eish, how unlucky were we last Saturday against the Wannabees?? I tell you, Pik: if only Percy had his kicking boots on..... But, not to worry!! I made him write out 10 000 times "I will never miss another kick in front of the sticks", plus he had to sit in the corner of the airplane on our way home, as his punishment!! Hopefully that taught him a lesson or two!!

Again, there are alot of positives we can take from our effort in Sydney!!! To start with:Wynand broke the world record (previously held by Yevgeny Knocknikov from Kazhakstan)for the quickest handling error in a test match!! (It only took him 1.0158 seconds to knock on, whereas Knocknikov took 9.0354 seconds!) We also managed to score some points against Australia, and, we actually scored 2 tries!!! What more can our supporters ask for, hey??

So, now we're back in the Republic! Alistair, Gert, Peter and I had a good chat about the tour in Aussie and NZ, and decided to make some changes to the squad: Relax, no wholesale changes!! Just some fine tuning! Remember, I've done enough experimenting so far this season... Breytie desperately needed a haircut, so I decided to release him... Jaco told me he needed to gain back his confidence, and expressed his desire to play some flowing, unstructured, running, winning rugby again, so I released him to go join the Bulls......

And yes: I heard your call to include Pienaar, so I delivered!! But, to be honest, I initially picked his dad, Gysie (he's a bit more experienced, you know...) to join us, but he told me he retired 22 years ago.. Remember Pik, I don't just hand out Bok caps...... Francois Pienaar wasn't interested in making a comeback either, so, in the end I had to opt for the young Pienaar... I just hope he's half as good as you say he is!!! Is he a record breaker/holder like Wynand? Can he sing like Eddie? Can he warm a bench like Shimmie, and can he carry a tackle bag like Brent Russell?? Only time will tell, I guess....

Ok, time for me to sign off, chaaina.. I still have 253 unread e-mails to attend to.. The next one in line is from Nick Mallett, nogals!!! What the hell do you think he wants from me??? my job?? (Hehehehe... note to self: never complain about the prices of tickets in public!) Oh well, e-mail says nothing really... He only attached the following link: www.picklukewatson.co.za .......

Keep it real

Jake

Whacko Jake-o...

2006-08-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

Jis Jake,

Ek het maar gedink ek wag tot jy jou span bekend maak vir Saterragaand se toets voor ek iets sê hierrie week.... Maar maggies, ek kannie meer stilbly nie! Ouboet, ek vra maar nou die vraag wat die hele SA wil eintlik wil vra, maar te bang is, net omdat hulle nie sulke goeie vrinne soos ek en jy issie: Bra, het jy, Gertjie, Alistair en daai Pieter Jooste 'n "P-lab" beroof toe julle in Wellington was??? Want dinge lyk vi my bietjie deurmekaar as ek so na julle utilatings, beslissings luister!!! Of, is jy op enige medikasie waarvan ons nettie weet nie????

Ek verstaan as jy sê Eddie "add value" met sy pragtige sangstem!! Maar, hoekom het julle hom nie aangehits om eerder in te skryf vi NZ Idol, terwyl julle hier in NZ was die anner week nie??? Ek het Sondagaand so geloer na die 18 finaliste, en dissie juis iets om oor huis toe te skryf nie!!! Eddie kon gewen het!!! Maar nee... In plaas va oornag veranner inne pop aai-ril, moet ek nou sien hy't eerder geskuif vannie vasskopkant vannie skrum, na die loskop toe.... Ja, nee!! Dit maak sin!! Ek dag da hy's ons number 1 number 3??? (volg jy?) En ou Os moet nou so baie rugby speel, ek sal hommie kwalik neem as hy sy naam na hierrie trippie veranner na Op du Randt nie..... (en there I was under the impression julle gaat hom in watte toedraai vi volgende jaar se world cup.... )
en Jaco is ook wee oppie bench.. Ga hy vi ons die game probeer wen mette dropgoal vanuit sy kwartgebied uit?? Eish!! Darem jammer Paul Honiss het nie geval virrit nie! Ek meen, dit het sooooooooo genuine gelyk!! En, sy tantrum na die tyd, plaas hom seker in lyn virre Oscar hierrie jaar!! Laat my partykeer wonner wat hulle actually maak as hulle veronnerstel is om te oefen....

Maar, oukei.. Ekkit seker nou genoeg gemoan... Ek sal eerder nie die feit noem dat da nie plek oppie bench is vi Brent Russell of JP Pietersen nie... Hel, hulle het ka seker nou behoorlik duiksakke ronddra na die 5 weke in Aussie en NZ.....
Ten minste het Danie Coetzee 'n spier getrek toe hy yskas toe gestap het om vi jou 'n bier te loop fetch....

Oukei, tyd vi my om te groet.. Hoop dit gaan oukei Saterragaand... Ek sal my seker ma weer moet oorgee aanie Speights teen halftyd....

ps - Province wen nog steeds... Luke het al weer gescore, en lei die mannetjies baie mooi! Ma, dit weet ons mos nou al lankal al...
Ek lees ook jy sê "jy's nie geworry oor Percy se skoppe nie.... Great stuff!!! Ruan het die anner dag ma 5 uit 10 geskop teenie Bulle, so ek's seker hy's NET wa jy soek!!

Big Pik

The Brisbane 49'ers...

2006-07-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Big Pik,

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your letters. Just that I've been super busy lately, with all the planning, etc I have to put into the Boks' game plan, on a weekly basis, you know.....

So.... Saturday night was a bit of an unexpected mishap... No need to panic, though! Just a bad night at the office! You can't expect to win every test match, I say! I keep trying to convince those fools in the media, that there are indeed some positives we as a team can take from our effort in Brisbane! To start off with: We turned up on time for the match! Also, I think we looked a lot smarter and sharper in or track suits, than the Wallabies for instance! Our singing of the National anthem, also has to be applauded! People ask me what Danie Coetzee, Eddie Andrews and Albert van den Bergh are doing in the squad. Just listen to them sing, I tell you!!! You can't underestimate the value of a good singer in test match rugby these days! It's where it all starts!! You can't win without a decent singer. That's the key to winning the world cup!

And, that bloody Paul Honiss!! I mean, surely the dumb SA public will continue to blame HIM if our team performs dismally on the day!!! Come on, he robbed us in 2004 against the Irish, and I'm pretty sure if I keep reminding Joe Public about that, they'll let me off the hook! (note to self: remind Smittie to have a go at him at the next press conference... again!)
I tell you, Pik, those bloody vultures in the media aren't making it easy for me! Again I have to listen to "how dirty we are". I mean, they mention the incident when Ricky put his fingers in Stirling's mouth... I'll tell you in my best Jeppe English, Ricky assured me he washed his hands before the start of the match!! What more can I say?? I am not the coach of a dirty rugby team!! I won't stand for that!! Personal hygiene is a priority for us!!

o ja, before I forget: I've made sure all newspapers are banned from our hotel, so I don't have a clue as to what happened over the weekend in the Currie Cup. (If they can't say anything postive about us, why the hell buy the bloody newspapers, I say!!) Scores, ou Pik? I sure as hell hope that Watson laaitie didn't play another blinder.... He's not exactly making things easy for me, you know.... So, I hope Province got pumped at Newlands!!! All this talk about Watson is making me mad, ou Pik! And, again the monsters in the media seem to remember every bloody comment I've made so far... The last one that came back to haunt me, is the fact that "he's too small for international rugby". Dêmmit, I was as surprised as you to see he weighs a bit more than Solly in the newspaper the other day! How the hell was I supposed to know that!! So, when we arrived in Brisbane, I decided it's time to fix that!! I put Solly on an intense conditioning program (hence the reason he didn't "featcher" in Brisbane) He's been at Hungry Jacks every day so far!! And, it's paying off: The guy's picked up about 5 kgs already! We'll show them!!! He's going to be my "secret weapon" against the Blackies!

Ok, chaaina, time for me to sign off. Loads to do still before Saturday's test match! And, of course I still remember about the tickets! Funny thing, I even have 40 extra tickets available now! Seems like some of the old toppies on the organised supporters' tours, decided to cancel the Wellington trip... Can you believe it?
Oraait, I'll see you in the hotel lobby then on Saturday morning. Remember to bring that video!!

Best Regards
Jake Shyte

SPIESiaal vi jou.....

2006-07-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Liewe Jake,

Jis ou, hoe lyk dinge? Kry jy my briewe? Als nog oraait da bo in Brisbane? Ek hoop nie die Gold Coast is TE lekker, ennie manne lê weer net heeldag oppie strand nie.... Jis, ek hoop julle bly darem inne grênder hotel assie Backpackers waar ek en Liefie gebly het laasjaar!! So, vanne hool het ek laanklaas gesien!! (en, onthou ek's va Kraaifontein af!) Ma', vi $15.50 per nag, wat het ons verwag..... Maar, wat praat ek als: SARU kyk mos darem mooi na julle groot menere!

So, gepraat va SARU:Ek hoor hulle willie jou kontrak nou al verleng nie.. Moettie worry nie, ou pel: Dit gebeur mettie beste van ons, trust my!! My huidige werk het ook einde Januarie maand besluit om nie my temp kontrak te verleng nie, en ek was net so upset!! Dis darem 'n klap inne mens se gesig, ne!! Maar, hulle't ook gou agtergekom hulle't my meer nodig, as ek vi hulle nodig gehad het, en whoops whalla.... Ek's nog steeds hierso!! My ma sê mos altyd: "maak jouself irreplacable!!" Dag ek dra sommer net so bietjie vannie Ouvrou se raad oor aan jou....

Anyways...
Ek skryf maar net om julle sterkte toe te wens vi moreaand se game!!!
Dis vi my darem so interessant om na al die comments innie koerante te luister.. Sal darem lekker wees as julle, na julle heel week gesê het julle gaanie Wannabees net voorlangs target, besluit "bogger dit!!!", en hulle verras ommie bol bietjie wyd te speel... Hel, dis darem nie asof ons bietjie variety kort in ons spelpatroon oppie oomblik nie.... Ek meen, die Aussies dink darem ookie julle's breindood nie.....
Maar ag wat, ek sê weer... Wat weet ekke nou?
Sê vi spEISH, ek sê hy moet lekker speel, so ook Aikona!

O ja: ek het amper vegeet om te noem!! Julle was seker al op pad Aussie toe, so jy sou dit nie kon sien op Supersport nie: Province het laas Saterrag die Bulle gewen!! Op Loftus nogals!! 15 - 10 wassie eindtelling. Apparantly het Luke gekook....Ek moet ook maar wag virrie replay hierrie Woensdagaand oppie Rugby Channel, ma' Daniël het gesê hy sallit vi ons tape!! Dan sal ekkit sommer vlge Saaragoggend vi jou bring byrrie hotel in Wellington, as ek ons toetskaartjies kom optel. (jy onthou mos daam nog jy't my 2 tickets belowe, of hoe?)

Goed ou vrind, ek moet afsluit!!
Alles vannie Bokste!!!

Big Pik

Luke here, Jake!!

2006-06-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

Oy, Jake, hoesit!

Ek hoor jy was bietjie London toe gewees hierrie week!! Vertel, vertel, hoe wassit gewees?? Het jy 'n cab gevang van Heaf-frou af, of het jy sommer oppie tube gespring, saam met die res vannie tourists?
Wat het jy als gemaak daai kant? Het jy die view vannie stad bekyk da uit die Eye uit, of was jy Madame Tussaud's toe? Of bietjie tennis ga kyk by Wimbledon? Dalk het jy 'n belangrike meeting gehad mettie Queen?? Ek meen, om so skielik die week voorie Tri Nations afskop, op te skiet London toe (va alle plekke!!), daarmee ook die bekendmaking vannie squad te delay mette paar dae, MOET dit seker iets belangrik gewees het, of hoe!! mmm..... Ma, ek hoop jy't dit geniet! We'll agree to disagree, ma' London issie my most favourite holiday destination nie... Dis te gejaagd en alles is hopelessly overpriced..

Ma' om terug te kom by die eintlike rede hoekom ek vi jou skryf!: Ek hoor toe vanoggend oppie draadloos da's 4 nuwelinge in jou squad. Ek het gehoop 2 van hulle was Schalk Brits, en Luke Watson, maar tensy my disleksie verswak het innie afseisoen, spel mens nie Schalkie se naam "Danie Coetzee" nie, en ookie Luke s'n as "Solomiza Tybillika" nie.... Jy moet my ma' reghelp ou grote, want ek sukkel ma' met die groot woorde, jy weet dit mos!!

Ma', Jake, ek is geworry!! Jy's besig om foute te maak, ou chaaina! Vi jarre het die mense van Snor City vi jou gesing "Makie Bulle almal Bokke", ma' nou't jy die kat lykkit my heelemal aanie stert beet!! Gary Botha issie Bulle se haker, nou al vi meer as twee seisoene lank al, en nie Danie nie!!!!!!!! Hy's einde laasjaar al Engeland toe!! Hy sit deesdae oppie bench vi London Irish, en nie mee virrie Bulle nie!!! Maar, oukei: jy soek mos 'n backup haker wat KEN va oppie bench sit!!

Nog 'n boggerop, is Aikona Ndungane!! Ek moan nie oorie feit lat hy innie squad issie, nee glattie!! Hy is miskien nou nie so "versatile" soos Andre Snyman en Gaffie nie, en kan slegs vleuel speel en drieë druk, maar, net vi in case jy nie geweet het nie, hy't 'n tweeling boetie, Odwa, wat virrie Sharks speel! Hy's OOK 'n vleuel, ma' net 'n linkervleuel, en nie regs, soos sy boetie nie. Eish, weet dit klink confusing, ma nou laat jy die anner ene na die "Odwa out" voel, deur hom nie te kiesie.... (hahaha, Hoop jy vang dit... niks soos 'n bietjie humor tussen ou vrinne nie, of hoe?)

Oraait, Jake, laaste paar dinge wat ek wil weet, voor ek afsluit: Waas Pedrie?? Is hy weggelaat omdat hy noggie daai "oukei, Victor, ek gaan jou nou van agter-af help oorie lyn stoot" move bemeester het soos Jacques Cronje nie??? Laas toe ek gecheck het, het dit ook nie eers meer virrie Bulle gewerkie...
Waas Ruan?? Hoekom het jy hom uitgelaat?? Issit sy eyebrows?? Of, moet hy ook beginne blou tokse dra, soos Fourie "ek gaan skree!!" du Preez?? Pienaar was maar net die most exciting SA backline player gewees innie super 14..... Hy kan alles doen wat Ricky en Fourie kan doen, net beter... Hy kan pale toe skop, en sal beter vaar op flyhalf as Jaco EN Andre Pretorius...
Maar, sorry ou pel... Wat weet ekke nou....

Groetnis
Pikke

Die vloek vannie Bok coach...

2006-06-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Oraait, Jake se honeymoon is well en truly over..... In 2004 kon hy nie 'n voet verkeerd sittie... Die champagne het gevloei, ennie media en SA rugbypubliek het die grond aanbid waarop ou Jake geloop het... Kom 2005 en ons het nou wel nie die Tri Nations titel defend nie, maar oorwinnings oor die Blackies en Wannabees het hom nog laat rustig slaap snags.. Ek meen, hoekom nie?? Virre slag is ons nie verneder teenie Tri Nations teenstanders nie!!
Oukei, so nou's ons in 2006, en na 1 warmup teenie World 15, klink dit vi my of alles defnitief nie meer so hunky dory issie.... Joe Public kritiseer sy selections, en as ek so na Jake se uitlatings innie media luister, klink hy vi my al klaar nervous... En dit nog voor ons die eerste ware international gespeel het, ou Jake???

Ommie Bokke coach te wees issie 'n joke nie.... Jy kan maar weet daar is 40 miljoen ouens wat glo hulle kanne beter job as JY doen, ennie SA supporters en media is maar 'n moeilike lot om gelukkig te hou.... Een week is jy hero, anner week 'n zero!! So, kom ons kyk na Jake se voorgangers, en kyk na vannie flaters wat hulle begaan het. Take note, Jake!!

John Williams: Die eerste man innie hotseat na allie jare van isolasie... Oppie Bokke se end of year toer in '92, het hy game breakers soos Phillip Schutte en Botha Rossouw ingesluit innie Bokspan.. Voorwaar 'n schutterende keuse gewees, glo ek.... Anyways, John het nie lank gehou nie...
Gerrie Sonnekus: Oukei, hy't nooit officially die job aanvaar weens "persoonlike redes" nie, maar hy was officially aangewys assie coach... Miskien wassit nog die baggage van 1974, toe hy moes skrumskakel speel teenie Britse Leeus....
Ian Macintosh: Mac het nooit genoeg kans/tyd gekry nie... Na die series loss teenie AB's in '94 (in NZ nogals...) is hy die boot gegee.. Miskien was hy te Engels...
Kitch Christie: wyle Kitch issie man wat vir ons die Webb Ellis trofee besorg het....
Andre Markgraaff: Aaah, die comeback king.... Die man wat die golden boy, Francois Pienaar gedrop het... "f..n Pienaar!! f..n Mlluleki George!! f..n nou genoeg gehad vannie f..n heel gemors!" Ai, toe gaan staan en vang sy tjomma Andre Bester hom so...... Maar, Markies het return assie vise president van SARFU oppe kol... DIT wil gedoen wees!!! Ek persoonlik sien vir hom 'n toekoms innie politiek!
Carel du Plessis: Die prins van vleuels!! Sy eerste coaching job was sommer die Bokke job!! Eish... Hy't defnitief 'n paar mense geken by SARFU.... Van Carel se "Moments of magic", was Edrich Lubbe as Bokke binnesenter EN stelskopper... Oukei, hy het wel vi Rassie Erasmus sy break gegee, maar na die series loss teenie Leeus in 1997, het hy ook sy "Don't Come Monday" e-mail gekry van Louis Luyt....
Nick Mallett: Hierrie era laat my baie dink aan die huidige een.. Aan die begin kon Nicky ook nie 'n voet verkeerd sittie... Percy het gekook op fullback, ennie Bokke het aanskoulike wenrugby gespeel. Ek meen, ommie Franse op Parc des Princes so ore aan te sit, wassie krieket nie!! Toe gaan staan en verloor ons teenie Engelse op Twickers aanie einde van '98, en van daar af wassit ook maar net afdraand... Ewe skielik het die media en public sy selections begin bevraagteken.... Arme Gaffie en Dave von Hoesslin se ore tuit seker nou nog na die Dunedin Disaster in 1999... Nick Mallett se "Moment of magic" was die weglating van Teich vir sy golden boy Blobby Stinkstert... Ons almal weet hoe effektief 'n 20% Bob was byrrie world cup... Die laaste strooi was seker toe Nick die pryse van test tickets begin kritiseer het.....
Harry Viljoen: Klein Harry was 'n besigheidsman, en het probeer om die mindset van die Bokke te veranner, en hulle 'n meer professional outfit te maak... Met minner sukses, as sy resultate oppie rugbyveld ongelukkig!! Harry se "Moment of Magic", was toe hy vir Andre Vos vervang het met Blobby as Bokke kaptein, toe die Bokke in Buenos Aires aan die einde van 2000 probeer het om vir 80 minute te speel SONDER om actually die bal te skop, en ook toe hy vir AJ as replacement opgestuur het innie Twickenham toets in 2000, net om hom 3 minute later weer te vervang het met iemand anners.... Eish!! Aanie begin van 2002, wassie "stres en media foltering" vir hom te veel, en het hy bedank.
Rudolf Straueli: Aaah, Doflie, Dolfie!! "Do you fink our players concussed themselves?" Rudolf se "Moments of Magic": Die slag van 16-52..... Twickenham se 53 - 3 drubbing....Jorrie Muller as buitesenter virrie world cup 2003.... Louis Koen assie losskakel..... Stefan Terblanche assie vleuel..... En, wie gaan hom ooit van Kamp Staaldraad durf laat vergeet???

So, dit bring ons by Jake.... Bra, jy't blerrie goed gedoen met die Bokkies die laaste 2 jaar.. Moet nie dat die pressure jou nou van jou stoel afstamp nie... Dis laaste ding wat ons NOU nodig het...

Lekke naweek!!

ps - Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!! En go Stevie G!!!!

Beste Jake....

2006-05-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

Geagte mnr White,

Sorry virrie brief, ma' ek het noggie gepay nie, so kon noggie my foun (my nuwe Nokia 43-10 nogals...) optop nie!! Anners het ek jou sommer gebel.
Hoe lyk dinge, ou tjomma?? Jy reg virrie grooote internasionale rugby-voetbal seisoen? Die klomp Kiwi's skiem hulle initials is klaar gegrafeer oppie Tri Nations troufie, so ek hoop maar jy't vi ons 'n plan B, C en D..... (alhoewel ek ma partykeer nie so lekker voel oorie plan A nie, maar nou ja.... Ons kan seker nie oor alles saamstem)

Oukei, nou hoekom skryf ek vi jou, sal jy seker binnekort vra... Nou maar toe! Dis hoe dit is: Ek issie happy met jou 45-tal wat jy twee naweke terug aangekondig hettie!! (ek sou al laasweek vi jou geskryf het, assit nie net virrie feit was dat die Stormers my so teleurgestel het teenie Bulls nie!! Dit het Liefie 'n week geduur om my te oorreed om NIE vannie Auckland Harbour Bridge af te spring nie.... Apparantly kan daar erger dinge gebeur het!!! Ja, ek stem saam: Die Bokke kan seker met 50 punte 'n toets verloor! ....oops, dit het al gebeur...)
anyways.....

Ek het vir jou 'n voorstel, meneer White: Hoe lykkit mette "My span teen jou span" kompetisie!!
Ek het so bietjie gecheck na jou squad, en wonner hoe hierrie klomp sal vaar teen enige combination van die huidige "45 bestes in SA.." (Oukei, ek moet sê met Joubert en Chavanga se onttrekking hierrie week, lyk jou squad klaar beter, maar nog steeds.... )
So, here goes:
Big Pik se Rejects:
15 - JP Pietersen
14 - Akona Ndungane
13 - Ronnie Cooke
12 - Bradley Barrit
11 - Odwa Ndungane
10 - Earl Rose
09 - Scott Mathie/Janno Vermaak
08 - Ryno van der Merwe
07 - Warren Britz
06 - Luke Watson (kaptein)
05 - Ross Skeate
04 - Johan Ackermann
03 - Danie Thiart
02 - Schalk Brits
01 - Ollie le Roux

Oukei, ek weet jy't weer gal afgegaan die week oor "player burnout", so ons sal maar moet sien of jy hierrie kan inpas by jou Bokke se reeds druk program..

Goed ou grote, laat ek afsluit. Dis naweek, en ek hoor Bar Africa oppie Shore het 'n groot makietie aanie gang na werk.

Groetnis
Big Pik

Ps - go the Harrie-kyns!! "bring vir die Harrie-kyns nog wyn!!!"

Ek soekke nuwe foun......

2006-05-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

Oukei, oukei, ek issie die grootste tek-nou gheek nie, maar komaan: die Nokia 75-14 is SOOO ounuus en 2005!! Time to get whiff the program, and move forward whiff teknolougy!! En, ek gee nie om WATTE foun Vodacom my as upgrade wil gee nie!! Ka ma' 'n Nokia 13-12, offe 3-0 ook wees... Enige iets is beter as my huidige baksteen.....

Kyk, ek probeer deesdae realisties wees, en probeer om rugby-voetbal te kyk SONDER my geliefde, gestreepte brille, MAAR hel... Ek kannit nettie oor my hart kry ommie Bulle te back teenie Stormers nie..... (net die gedagte daaraan laat my klaar weer hardloop na die ablusieblokke....) En, na laasweek se gehuilery innie stort so op my eie, voel ek ook "snaaks".... So, hopelik het laasjaar se vernederings op Loftus (jaaaa, ek kan ookie vergeet van 39 - 3 nie...) die spelers ook honger gemaak om hulleself te redeem.. Maar, eish.. Gaan taf wees!!! Hopelik pak Kaapstad vir Nuweland VOL, en speelie weer, en seker most importanly: die spelers saam!!! Note to Bulle fiseo: Bly kalm, ou grooote!!

Dan, die Sharkies het nogge akademiese kans (assie Crusaders natuurlik die Greganlose Brampies afslag vanaand, bygesê..), maar let's face it: Hulle gaanie die semi's maak nie... Maar, hopelik vermorsel hulle in elk geval nog die Force in Dirtbin!! Kyk, die Farce het nou genoeg simpatie gekry! Hulle het toe laasweek die inevitable wen gekry, so niks meer "Haai, sjym, die arme Forcies.." sêgoed nie!!! Ruan, AJ en co: slag hulle AF!!! julle KAN!!!!!

Dan, laastens: Katte teen Cheetahs... Ek glo die twee gewese spanmaats gaan mekaar goed opdreun, met niks as trots oppie spel nie... Jacque Fourie het actually laasweek weerie feeling gekry hoe dit voel om actually agter die opposisie se doellyn te wees, i.p.v jou eie, so hopelik kickstart dit ook SY seisoen.. Maar, aan albei spanne: Good luck, julle gaanit nodig kry... Kimberley se rugbyvelde issie so sag soos waaraan julle deesdae gewoond issie...

Oraait, Jake wys sy groep van 45 spelers aan Saterragaand, so vlge week kan ons bietjie oorie Bokke gesels!! (alhoewel ek al klaar upset is dat vlgs gerugte innie media, manne soos Luke, Britsie en BJ nie goed genoeg is vi hom nie........) eish!!!!

Oraait, lekker naweek!!

Onthou: Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!!!

ps - Kevin Mealamu stuur groete!!!

Nou wat nou??

2006-05-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

Vi die van julle wat dink als is hunkydory, en Big Pik hettie Stormers vergewe vir allie twak wat hulle tot dusver die seisoen opgedis het, THINK AGAIN!! Een Saterrag mirrag maak nie MY super 14 seisoen nie!!! Ek stem saam: Saterrag was blerrie mooi en lekker, ma' splinternuwe challenge lê klaar weer voor hulle deur: Ka hulle dieselle klas rugby vi twee weke inne ry opdis??? Dis vi my die million dollar question.... En my gut feeling is nog steeds NEE..... Wie sê laas Saterrag was nie maar weereens net NOGGE false dawn innnie Kaap va Stormers nie?? Kyk, ons Kapenaars het partykeer rede om so wintgat te wees, maar ons kannie sommer dink na 1 ordentlike game uit 11 probeerslae "ons is daar nie"... Nee wat: Gaat kyk maar net wee die Bulle v Sharks game (hoe pynlik dit ook al is...) Ja, die Stormers se cheerleaders IS hotter, ons fiseo issie so aggressief soos hulle s'n nie, maar nou ja.... Laas naweek se game teenie Sharks het net weereens bewys dattie Bulle nog steeds die pas aangee in SA rugby oppie oomblik... (oukei, ek sal huil innie stort vanaand oor daai uitlating... sorry)
Hulle's 'n anner span op Loftus (alhoewel die Cheetahs nie sal saamstem nie! 23 Oktober....) Hierrie naweek is wee 'n groote in Snor City!! Robbie Deans het besluit om vi Makou uit te laat, maar ek sallie verbaas wees as hy wel uitdraf nie... Tensy hy besering het, hoekom die man twee weke inne ry laat uitsit?
Maar, ek dink die Bulle kannit doen.... Verwag 'n moerse backlash, want twee below par performances deurie defending champs is weird deesdae, maar ek glo die Loftus faktor sal hulle deurdra... (weereens, stort toe vi my...) Leer net die senters 'n anner move as daai skêrbeweging hierie week seblief!

Dan, in Dirtbin issit die Sharks v Stormers.... Big Joe se uitlatings die week innie press dat "dit die Bulle game vlge week is op Nuweland waarna almal so uitsien" maak my bekommerd... Moet julle dalk nie eers worry oor hierrie naweek se game teenie Sharkies nie, my ou neef?? Eish... Nou's ek sommer weer upset van voor af.....
Die Stormers se forwards was puik verlede week, maar die Sharkies is ookie paloekas voorlangs nie..... Soos ek vroeër gesê het: consistancy issie wagwoord. Weet hulle was consistant power gewees tot dusver, maar hulle sal moet vinger trek as hulle actually drie naweke inne ry wil wen.... Sharks gaan vi oom Tony mis, maar ek dink hulle gaan nog steeds met 5 of 7 punte die ding doen... (oukei, nou's dit regtig stort toe vi my!!)

Lekker naweek!
onthou: Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!!!

Dankie, Hoff!

2006-04-27T01:08:00.000-07:00

Julle mos gesê hy's al wat ons kan red!! Vi ingeval julle dit gemis het: Kosie het vi Nick ge-sms halftyd, en gevra offit oraait is om vi Hoff op te stuur innie plek van Chavanga, Nokwe, Benji, Jouba, De Wet, Jean, Naas en Bolla.... Ek meen, 'n quadru-triple plaasvervanging is nog nooit gesien in rugby union nie!!! Maar, weereens is dit die Stormers wat die pas aangee in die professionele era!! Absolute baanbrekers as dit kom by innovasie, se ek julle!!! Die eerste span in die geskiedenis vannie kompetisie wat so met reëlmaat hulle tuiswedstryde verloor, wat alombekend staan "assie span met die mooiste truie en supporters, en dis al wat tog tel!", en daarby saam is hulle ook hierrie seisoen die gunsteling om mettie Academy Award innie "hoe omme game in die laaste 5 minute op te bogger" kategorie weg te stap. So, wees postief, Kaapstad!! Ons het baie om voor dankbaar te wees!!!

Maaar, om terug te kom na die Reds wedstryd: Gelukkig het Koos en Nick se gamble, om met slegs 1 speler innie backline te speel die laaste 30 minute, vrugte afgewerp!! Hoff se 3 try blitz was te veel virrie Rooi span!! Dit kon 4 gewees het, assie blerrie TJ nie beslis het sy "skip pass" na homself, was vorentoe nie..... Take a bow, Hoff!! U da man!!!

Oraait, genoeg oorie Stormers....

Highlanders v Waratahs: Oukei, ek het so paar weke terug besluit ommie Waratahs te begin seriously consider asse title contender... Die Highlanders is wel terug oppie "House of Slym", maar hulle sukkel maar nog steeds sonner Nick Evans op 10 en James Ryan op slot...Waratahs het bewys hulle kan weg vannie huis af wen, en Vrydagaand behoort nie anners te wees nie. Waratahs wen met 7 en bonuspunt...

Cats v Force: Hoe unlucky wassie Farce nie laasweek teenie defending champs nie?? eisssshh!!! Sorry Cats, maar julle gaan hierrie jaar die Academy Award verower innie "ons is die eerste paloekas wat teenie Force verloor het" kategorie. Frans Ludicrous, ek hoop jy't vi jouself 'n goeie aftree pakket beding byrrie Lions Rugby Unie, want my kristalbal skimp vi weke al oor wanneer jy die "don't come Monday" memo kry by Andy Turner... Force behoort die "jetlag" verskoning te kan gebruik oppie perskonferensie, asook "altitude", maar behoort nog steeds te wen inne baie gelykop stryd... Een of anner tyd moet jy 'n close ene wen... Ek meen, selfs die Stormers het al hierrie jaar.... Force met 1 punt

Hurricanes v Chiefs: Oukei, die Hurricanes is voorwaar in 'n benydenswaardige posisie oppie oomblik: Hulle het nog glattie die wereld aanie brand gespeel nie, en lê 3rde oppie log!! Die Chiefs speel ook nie eintlik goeie rugby vi 'n volle 80 minute nie.... Behoort 'n goeie, vloeiende wedstryd te wees, propvol drieë. Oukei, hier's my upset virrie naweek: Chiefs met 3...

Brumbies v Reds: Oukei, dis twee Aussie spanne hopelik die lewendige stoelgange uitmekaar uit gan tekkel... Who cares? Brumbies met 10... NEXT!!

Cheetahs v Blues: Oukei, die Cheatertjies behoort ook oppie "ons is moeg" trein te kan spring, maar ek dink hulle sal honger wees na laasweek se naelskraapse verloor teenie Chiefs. Hulle speel ten minste ook die volle 80 minute, so die Blues kan maar weet daar lê NOG meer heartbreak vi hulle voor Saterdagmiddag. Juan is terug, en die manne van Bloem behoort die Aucklanders voorlangs af te polish. Ek glo nie hulle gaan wen mette bonuspunt nie, maar Cheaters met 7...

Bulle v Sharks: Die game vannie naweek!! Die Sharks speel blerrie goeie rugby-voetbal oppie oomblik, en SA sien uit om te sien hoe die twee pak voorspelers teen mekaar opweeg. Maar, die Bulle isse anner span op Loftus, jong..... Ek sou net vi Jaco op 10 gespeel het, en nie fullback nie.. Maar, miskien probeer Heineke vi Dick mette slapriem vang, en draf da nogge anner fullback Saterrag uit.... Who knows??? Be prepared vi 'n genadelose 80 minute... Gaan close wees... Eish, can I ask the audience on this one??

Stormers v Crusaders: Die Crusaders dink so min vannie Stormers, dat hulle dit kan goeddink om vi Makou, Krater en MikDonald uit te laat.... 5 jaar terug was ek op Nuweland toe die Stormers die Crusaders met 30 punte kafgedraf het.... Boeta, dose were de days..... Laasjaar is ons afgeransel met 30+ punte, en hierrie jaar behoort dit nie veel beter te gaan nie... Stormers gaan verwoed begin, maar behoort so starrig maar seker die handdoek in te gooi oor die laaste 15 minute... Crusaders met 10...

Oraait, lekke naweek!!!

ps - Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!! (ek sien hy's terug oppie vleugel...)

Genoeg eish genoeg....

2006-04-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

Nick Mallet en Fester vanner Merwe: luister mooi assemblief!! Sluk julle trots, dink buite die boks, dink aan die toekoms va Stormers en Weepee raakbie!! BEL VIRRIE HOFF, NOU!!!!!! Hy's al wat ons nou kan red!!! Vegeet van Chuck: dit gaan meer as nette sarsie roundhouse kieks vat om die prooooooooooo-blems te fix...

Nee o hel.... Kyk, De Wet ennie manne (of issit Britsie ennie manne.. of issit Jean ennie manne?? Ek kannie mee byhou nie... Kosie kies da elke week 'n anner kaptein!! Continuity is mos heavy overrated deesdae.... anyways...) kan nou ma kwaad wees vi my, maar ek gaanie hierrie naweek die Stormers se game oppie tievie kykkie!!! En dis in Brisbane, m.a.w lekker Vrydagaand hie by ons, ma' genoeg eish genoeg!!! Ek sal wee kyk as hulle wen...

Ek en Daan ry moremirrag Hamilton toe virrie Cheaters se wedstryd teenie Chiefs. Ek verwag egter nie miriekils nie.. Die locals sê Waikato Draught proe EERS sleg as jy in Hamilton is, so ons moet gaan toets..

So, wat gaan die naweek gebeur??

Chiefs v Cheetahs: Chiefs was laasweek maar vrot gewees. Natuurlik het dit gehelp dat hulle teen 'n vrotter span gespeel het, maar nou ja... Hulle mis vi Luaki baaaie!! Of hulle wel twee weke inne ry so useless kan wees (onthou, hulle het teenie Cats verloor... en met 14 spelers oppie veld, so enigiets is moontlik in Hamilton, i suppose...), sal ons seker maar moet sien. Die Cheetahs is moeg, hulle het 3 groot wedstryde agter die rug, so dit sal nie maklik wees nie. Ek hoop Keith Lowen speel 'n bars!! Oukei, result: Chiefs met 10 punte... Sorry Ivan.

Reds v Stormers: Ek gaan nie te veel vingerspiere verder mors oppie sogenaamde "ruiters in swart" nie... Hulle's useless, het geen passion nie, en het laasweek meer tyd innie spa's van Mt Maunganui as oppie oefenveld spandeer. So, hoe sallit dan anners wees hierrie naweek oppie Gold Coast van Australia?? Die Reds het die Bulle geklop, enough said. Reds gaan hulle met 20 punte kafdraf. Chris Latham special coming up!

Force v Crusaders: Selfs al speel Robbie Deans se ouma op loskopstut, sallie Farce nog steeds nie wen nie. (al het hulle darem 'n drie gedruk teenie Blues... hoeveel het die Briesies nou weer gedruk die anner aand op Eden Park??) Die Force is desperate, en dis gewoonlik dan wanneer 'n shock kan kom, maar "hello": dissie Crusaders....... Crusaders met te minste 15 punte

Brumbies v Hurricanes: Larkham is uit, en dis MASSIVE!! Die Brumbies (ennie Wallabies for that matter) sukkel sonner hom op 10, so dit gaan interessant wees om te sien hoe hulle cope sonner die master. Die Hurricanes speel nie die wêreld aanie brand nie, maar hulle's nog steeds in mette shot virrie semi's. Oukei, dissie Brumbies oppie Bruce stadion, en selfs al het die Waratahs hulle gesaag laas naweek, dink ek nog steeds hulle kannit doen teenie Canes.. net-net!! Brumbies met 3 (Jason Eaton se moustache is fantasties!!! Dit behoort 3 punte werd te wees vi sy span voorie afskop!!)

Sharks v Blues: Miskien verwag ek nou weer te veel van Dick en sy mannetjies, maar hel... Ek is baaaie, baie impressed met verwikkelinge in Dirbin tot dusver! AJ en Tony raak net beter, en die jong mannetjies speel LEKKER!! Die Blues kan "jetlag" as verskoning gebruik, maar ek dink hulle moet meer bekommerd wees oorie feit dat dit 'n 15h00 kick off is.. Durban issie Auckland nie!! Die humidity behoort hulle GOED te laat blaas na 40 - 60 minute. Oukei, Sharks met 7 punte...

Bulls v Cats: Elke Cats supporter sal wil hoop dieselle gebeur as wat in laasjaar se opening game gebeur het... Sorry manne: dit gaanie! Die Bulle isse anner span op Loftus... Die vlaggies sal weer waai, Steve sal blêr oorie luidspreker, ennie cowgirls sal wee laat waai mette "let's go, Bulle-let's go".. Die blou masjien sal weer voort stoomroller, en Pretoria sal weer Maandagoggend vi Frikkie, JP en kie innie groen en goud soek.. Maar, ek verwag nie sjampanje rugby nie.. die local derby sal HARD wees, maar wel verbeeldingloos, wat grens aan breindood. But, looks at the scoreboard: Bulle met 12 punte

Oukei, lekke naweek!!

Ps - Riaan rock!!

met EISH, ja!!

2006-04-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry, ek's bietjie laat.. (asof iemand omgee! haha..)
Ek en Daan is besig om alles gereed te kry vi moreaand se grooote stryd op Eden Park.. Die Brandy Bunch sal in al sy glory represented wees, moettie worry nie!!! Kyk net uit oppie kassie virrie komminste spul... Glo dit kan dalk net ons wees!!! (ek het klaar vi my baas gesê as ek Maandagoggend dalk laat is vi werk, issit nie my skuld nie..)

Kyk, ons kan darem met verligting sê die Force het ons nie geklop nie.. Ook maar net-net... Genaarre!!!! maar, ou Luke Skywalker het darem kop gehou, en ons deurgetrek.. Ek dink ek het die laaste bietjie hare op my hoof verloor laas Vrydgaand van allie worry... Kyk, die Force gaan nog hulle eerste wen kry in die kompetisie, dankie tog dit gaanie die Stormers weesie.... Cheaters, Cats, pasop!!

So, wat gaan hierrie naweek gebeur. (apart from the fact dat iemand ons dalk gaan moet kom uitbail Saterdagaand..)

Crusaders v Waratahs: Ewan Mckenzie en sy spannetjie het hierrie week al klaar bloumoord geskree oor Rietsjie Makou se mannewales byrrie breakdown. Starrig manne, hoe sê hulle: Mense wat in glashuise bly..... Phil Waugh (ook nou ewe skielik mr Innocent) sê hulle sal hom "met force (nie die Western ene nie!) verwyder as hy die rucks join vannie kant af, en probeer wegkom met sy gebruiklike skelmstreke. Maar, hulle kan ontspan: Makou se grootste bewonderaar, Paul Anus is nie in beheer van vanaand se kragmeting nie, so Rietsjie sal weet hy moet hom bietjie beter gedra. Mens sal sweer Paul dra Rietsjie se liefdeskind, want hy laat hom weekliks met moord wegkom as hy die fluitjie blaas... Ons kan sê wat ons wil oor Makou, maar hy issie shtewpit nie!! En, daar is nog 14 anner spelers oor wie die Waratahs ook moet worry.. Een in besonder: Danie Crater!
Behoort die game vannie naweek te wees (danksy my meestersgraad snap ek daai een, dankie!), en kan dalk die anner spanne wakker skud/aanspoor tot groter hoogtes hierrie naweek. (ek hoop!) Waratahs is beslis semi finaal materiaal hierrie jaar, maar dit gaan lol om virrie Crusaders in Christchurch te klop... Alhoewel, Les Kiss het hulle verdediging mooi opgeknap, en spanne sukkel maar om drieë teen hulle te druk... mmmmm... ek is nog te onseker.... Can i phone a friend on this one??

Highlanders v Force: die Highlanders mis vir Nick Evans. So maklik soos dit. Die oomblik vandat hy die veld moes verlaat het met 'n besering, gaan daar ook nie veel aan in Dunedin nie. En hoe lank voorie Force actually gaan wen?? Sorry John MItchell, gaan ook nie hierrie naweek gebeur nie! Julle sal maar moet wag tot julle teenie Cats speel....
Highlanders met 8 punte.

Chiefs v Bulls: Ek het tot dusver nie te veel slegte goed oorie Bulls te sê gehad nie, ook maar net omdat my eie span so pateties is.. Maar, here goes: Die Bulle gaan agteruit!! As jy die huidige spul moet vergelyk met die Noka 75-14 model, kan jy nie glo dis amper dieselle span nie. Oraait, julle mis vir Kees Lensing, Danie Coetzee en Anton Luiperd BAIE innie span. Maar, wat gaan aan? Jacques Cronje het lykkit my na die Jorrie Muller academy of Rugby toe gegaan innie afseisoen, want sy rugby het dramaties verswak! Julle maak ook te veel staat op julle pak, en hulle oorheers nie meer nie! ok, nou kom Derrick innie prentjie. In Brian Banana, en Aikona Ndungane, het julle actually twee vleuels wat kan afrond, maar die spelpatroon (of gebrek daaraan!) om die heeltyd te kick en tjaarts, is belaglik. Julle moes NOOIT vir Prettyboy Olivier verruil het vir Dries Scholtz laasweek nie... Ok, hierrie naweek is Morne Steyn terug innie span, en hopelik probeer julle 'n meer adventurous approach as wat ons tot dusver innie kompetisie moes aanskou het... Die tekkeling kan ook nie slegter as laasweek wees nie, so all in all verwag ek 'n beter performance vannie Bulle.. Maar, ek het julle nou twee keer vantevore geback om te wen, net om teleurgestel te word met lustelose vertonings.. Sorry, hierrie week kies ekkie Chiefs met 5..

Blues v Stormers: Oraait, vi my persoonlik die game van my naweek!! Het 2002 laas die manne in swart laaif sien speel! Laasweek, op kolle het ons al gevaarliker met die bal in hand gelyk, maar het ook hopeloos te veel besit weggeskop op kolle. Bottomline is die Blues het die Bulle geklop, en die Stormers of WP for that matter het dit laaanklaas reggekry! Die Blues is op hulle hometurf, so ek gaan maar daarmee gaan: Blues met 10 punte... (ek sluk maar swaar aan daai ene..)

Brumbies v Cheetahs: Die Cheatertjies het moedig probeer laasweek, maar helaas... Hierrie week gaan nie makliker juis raak nie.. Die Brumbies is nowhere close so goed soos hulle paar jaar terug was nie, maar die Cheetahs gaan nie onnodig bal moet wegskop/weggee nie, want die Brumbies is 'n span wat "baie respect for the football" het.. Hulle's nog steeds lief vir die multiphase game, en is actually nie te vrot daarmee nie. Om hulle in Canberra te klop sit nie in enige span se broek nie, en alhoewel die Cheaters weereens moedig gaan probeer, gaan dit seker maar weer eindig in heartbreak vi Rasta en sy manne... Brumbies met 7 punte.. ten minste... Sorry Ivan!! ek hoop julle bewys my weer verkeerd...

Cats v Reds: Die beste ding van hierrie wedstryd, is die feit dat dit Sondagoggend 03h00 live gebeeldsend word hier in NZ, so dit gaan my regtig nie veel skeel as ek my babbelas lê en afslaap terwyl die twee ploeteraars voortploeter nie. Andre Pretorius is terug, en hy sal beslis 'n verskil maak aan sy buitekant, maar die Cats het my ook al te veel keer tot dusver teleurgestel. die Reds is ook maar useless, so hopelik kry die Siamese Katte hul tweede oorwinning innie kompetisie. Cats met 3 punte.

Oraait, geniet julle naweek!

ps - Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!! en daai Riaan... hy ROK!!

May the force be whiff yous...

2006-03-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

Sjoe, watte fees was laasnaweek nie!! Die Stormers hettie verloor nie!!! Maandagoggend het ek sommer mette lied in my hart wakker geword, en geweet dit gaan 'n goeie week wees!! Ok, van julle bitterpille sal sê "dis omlat hulle nie gespeel hettie", maar nog steeds: Hulle't nie verloor nie!! whoohoo!!! Things are looking better, hey??

So, wat gaan hierrie naweek gebeur??

bLOSE v Bulle: Dries Scholtz vervang vir Prettyboy Olivier, so ons hoef nie eers 'n meestersgraad in Mikrobiologie te hê, om te besef die Bulle gaan NIE 'n expansive game speel Vrydgaand nie......... Ok, innie verlede sou die argument gewees het dat die Blues jou aan flarde kan hardloop as jy wil los speel, maar die manne van Auckland lyk maar regtig vrot tot dusver... Lavea is gedrop, en nou moet Nacewa kom rigting gee op 10... Tot Maak-'n-las-ter nie gaan inval op 10 nie, sallit maar lol.. (en met my luck issit vlge week teenie Stormers!!!) Ek weetie... Die Blues hoop maar die Bulle is nog bang vi hulle voorgangers van 2003... oukei, Bulle kry hulle tweede away win oppie toer... met 5 punte..

Waratahs v Sheetahs: Oraait, seker 'n slag dat ek die manne van Sydney begin ernstig opneem... Ommie Blues so kaf te draf, sit nie in enige span se broek nie... (aag, sorry, die Stormers het hulle darem ook verniel twee jaar terug.... hahahaa) Maar, hulle lyk gevaarlik. Rassie en sy troopers van Bloem doen blerrie goed tot dusver, maar ek dink regtig dit gaan moeilik wees vi hulle die vlge paar weke. Waratahs het miskien net te veel skietgoed agter.... Ok, net omdat dit in Sydney is, sê ek Waratahs met 12 punte.... (sorry Ivan!!! hoop julle verras WEEREENS..)

Force v Stormers: o jinne.... Die Force is 0 uit 6 tot dusver.... met my luck gaan hulle seker wen die naweek... hahahaha. Kyk, hoeveel keer het ek nie nou al gesê "as ons nie DIE naweek wen nie, kan ons maar los".. maar, genuine: daar is nie 'n beter oportunity om 'n wegwen te kry nie!! Gerrie Britz begin 'n slag 'n game virriie manne in swart - about time dat hy begin werk vir sy salaris!! My neef, Big Joe is darem ook wee fiks, en oppie bench!! Ok, here goes: maak maar weer my naam gat, dis oukei.... Stormers met 12 punte.... eish..... (ek haat dit!!! Wa gaan 'n Crusader supporter so bang wees voor sy span teen die paloekas van Perth speel!! wys net in watter shape my span is... eish!!!)

Hurricanes v Crusaders: Weereens nie eers nodig om gebruik te maak van daai meestersgraad, om te besef hierrie issie game vannie naweek nie!!! Ek hoop die weer speel saam hierrie week, en dat ons 'n lekker running game sien! Jerry en Ma-souie teen Makou en Forn, behoort maar net een van 'n hele paar interessante match up te wees!! Hoop maar vi Richie se onthalwe hy pis nie vir Jerry te veel af nie..... Die Cruise-aders het vir Dan (en hy tel vir 17 normale spelers!), maar in Ma'askara Nonu en Faa'tau hoef die Canes darem nie te ver terug te staan nie... Dis in Wellington en ek moet roep virre upset hierrie week, (behalwe virrie Stormers, of course!) so let's go... Canes met 3 punte in 'n relative high scoring game

Chiefs v Highlanders: Seriously.... Die twee spanne kan vlgs my maar die lewendige stoelgange uitmekaar uit tekkel, ek worry nie.... Chiefs met 10..

Sharks v Reds: Die Sharks is terug in Dirtbin, uiteindelik!! Na 'n laaang, moeilike toer, gaan hulle nie so skerp wees soos hulle supporters hoop nie. Maar, gaan nog steeds te goed wees virrie Reds. Tot dusver die SA span wat my die meeste surprise, en impress het. AJ isse yster, en ek hoop Jake vergeet nie van hom as hy beginne dink aan nommer 8's nie!!! Sharkies met 9 punte.

Ok, lekker naweek, julle slyme!!

May the force (of issit wors?) be whiff yous!

ps - Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!! en onthou daai Riaan!! hy ROK!!

Die duiwel was Linstig...

2006-03-24T01:28:00.000-08:00

Het Pretoria al vi Linston Manuels vergewe?? eish... Lat een van ons eie nou so fout kon gemaak het.........
Kyk, laasweek was al wee 5 uit 6 gewees vi my.... Dit raak nou te maklik.. Assit maar net virrie Stormers ook so maklik was!!! eina.... Kannie glo ek sê dittie, maar ek is bly die martelsessie op Nuweland is uiteindelik verby... Is moeilik om dit te sê, ma' geluk Cheetahs! Hou so aan manne, hopelik saag julle nogge paar over the seas spanne innie toernooi verder.

Well, na 6 weke van Super 14 aksie het ek gedurende die week so bietjie gedink.. (jaaa, groot oomblik virrie Pik gewees!!) Professor Tim Noakes ennie slim manne da byrrie Sports Saaiens Institoet praat elke jaar lang stories oor "player burnout", en hoe nadelig die stampvol rugbyseisoen virrie spelers is. Nou, dis alles goed en waar, MAAR: het hulle al ooit gewonner hoe erg dit virrie spectators is!! Kyk, 'n rugbyspeler speel maar 1 wedstryd oppe naweek!!! Hoe erg issit nie vir ons average Joe's wat elke naweek 3 tot 4 wedstryde oppie kassie moet volg nie!!! (ek praat nou net as jy die SA spanne volg, of course!! dit kan natuurlik NOG erger raak..) En, veral hier innie Land vannie Lang Wit Wolk gaanit ekstra swaar!!! Voel vir my die naweek is nettie lank genoeg nie... Vrydagaand issit die wedstryde in NZ, gevolg deur 'n wedstryd vroegoggend in SA oppie Saterdagoggend.. ennie selle storie die Saterdagaand, en Sondagoggend.... Mens se lyf kan net soveel stampe vat.... Eish, ennie Stormers dink HULLE's bly oor hulle loslootjie die naweek!!!

Oukei, genoeg nonsens gepraat....
Terug na die raakbie:

Ek is bietjie laat hierrie week, so sallie cheat nie. (Sharks het mos klaar verloor...)

Waratahs v Blues: Ok, ek sien dis halftyd 23 - 9 virrie Tahs... mmmm. hopelik verlaat Lavea die veld halftyd, en skuif hulle vir Mak-'n-las-ter losskakel toe, met Toe-pou-kie en Toe-nou-nie-te-vakie (dankie Daniël!!) innie middelveld.... Noem my stupid (en kyk, ek is!!!), maar die Blues gaan terugveg.. Blues met 3 punte..

Cheetahs v Reds: Al hoe die Reds kan wen, is as Paul Honiss die skeidsregter is, en Linston Manuels die vlagman/tv referee is... Juan se besering is 'n groot terugslag, die outjie is besig om te ontwikkel in 'n masjien vanne speler, maar die Cheetahs behoort nog steeds te veel skietgoed te hê.. Cheetahs met 9 punte

Highlanders v Cats: Ek sal nog baaaaaie meer moet drink voor ek gaan dink hulle het 'n kat se kans... En ek praat ongelukkig nie vannie Highlanders nie...... Frans Ludicrous en sy span wens seker al hulle's oppad terug huistoe... sjym... Die Highlanders verloor nie sommer 2 inne ry in Dunedin nie, sorry Frans.... Josh Blackie is ook nog terug om bietjie ekstra oemf te verskaf, so ek sien maar net wee 'n laaaang 80 minute wat voorlê virrrie Katte.... Highlanders met 15 punte

Brumbies v Chiefs: Brumbies is terug oppie Bruce stadion, en sal lekke afgepiepie wees oor hulle vertoning laasweek in Auckland. Chiefs het 'n week af gehad, maar dis nie maklik ommie Brumbies te klop in Canberra nie (gaan vra maar vir AJ en sy span!), ALHOEWEL dit nie meer die fortress is wat dit 2 - 3 jaar gelede wassie... As Holah vi George Smith kan genoeg besig hou, wie weet.... Sjoe.... moeilike een, maar ek gaan met Brumbies met 7 punte

Force v Bulls: Die Force is pateties, MAAR 'n vrot span moet seker een of anner tyd lucky wees... Hopelik virrie Bulle is hulle nie die unlucky party nie (alhoewel dit met MY luck seker die Stormers sal wees wat teen hulle gaan verloor!!!), en hou hulle maar net by hulle basics... Maar, een of anner tyd sal julle Bulle darem bietjie julle agterlyn moet gebruik!!! Bryan Banana oefen net sy tekkels, en onnerskep pogings deesdae... Is Derrick beter as Morne Steyn?????
Ok, Bulle met 10 punte..

Oraait, ek kan darem ten minste uitsien na 'n naweek wat nie bederf gaan word met NOG 'n Stormers verloor nie!! Boys, die Stormers gaan nie hierrie naweek verloor nie, watch wat ek vi julle sê!!!!

lekker naweek!! onthou, Riaan Rock!!

Dis Eskom se skuld.....

2006-03-15T22:44:00.000-08:00

Well, ek's 'n Suid-Afrikaner, en ons moet IETS kan blameer vir nogge close Stormers verloor.... Apparantly was da al weer 'n kraonnerbreking laas Saterragaand so om en by 20h54 innie Kaap... Hoeka dieselle tyd toe ou Hosea Gear so in 4 wheel drive da deur VIER van ons spelers is.... I guess the excuse is they didn't see him coming..... (Rule nr 1: onthou, dis altyd die coach se skuld asse span verloor... nooit die spelers s'n nie!!)

Aag nee man.... Wat 'n teleurstellende naweek!! Ek het gedink die Cats kannie vrotter nie.... Maar, hulle KON.... Toe Saterragaand gaan staan en breek Kimi se Mik-lêren op sy eerste flying lap in qualifying, en hy bevind hom aanie agterkant vannie grid virrie race die vlge dag... Na dit gaan staan en wen Chelsea innie 92ste minuut teen Spurs... Ek meen, nes mens dink dit KANNIE slegter nie, toe's ons nog dom genoeg om 06h00 op te staan virrie Stormers se game...... Nou sal julle seker vir my sê "jis, maar ten minste wassie krieket die moeite werd!" Dis seker die blerrie ergste: Ons het dit nie gesien aan hierrie kant vannie wêreld nie!!!! So, ek het nie eers die greatest ever 1 dayer gekyk nie..... Ek het Maandagoggend toe Travis vi my text met die goeie nuus, amper my polse gesny.....

So, nogge naweek se raakbie lê al weer voor... Die goeie nuus is dat twee vannie SA spanne darem teen mekaar speel, so ons gaan darem een span hê wat beslis as wenner vannie veld af gaan stap!! Don't panic, Jake!!! (met my luck gaan dit seker 'n draw wees.... oh well..)

So, here goes: (laasweek wassit 4 uit 6.. as ek kon geworry het ommie score vannie Farce se wedstryd teenie Reds te predict het, wassit dalk 5 reg... maar anyways...

Cruise-aders v Siamese katte: wow.... ok, na Sondag se krieket, kan mens met reg sê "impossible is nothing", ma' come on: let's face it - dissie krieket nie (letterlik!) Ons praat hier vannie Crusaders, teen Frans Ludicrous se katte..... Mccaw en Jack speel nie, maar Johnny Le'oo is meer as capable replacement... Ek dink nie dit sal so absurd wees soos laasweek teenie Waratahs nie, maar nog steeds 'n laaaaang aand virrie manne in Christchurch... Crusaders met 20 punte....

Farce v Waratahs: Dit gaanie veel beter in Perth as innnie Kaap nie.... Ek wonner vi hoe lank die Subiaco Oval nog vol spectators gaan wees? Dinge raakie makliker nie, en hierrie naweek issit die Waratahs.. Eish!! Sal dalk 'n "closer" game wees, local derby's het mos maar die manier om uit te rafel, maar die Waratahs het hopeloos te veel skietgoed Force. Waratahs met 10
ps - may the Force be whiff yous, John Mitchell....

Blues v Brumbies: Elke week maak ek my naam gat, deur te roep virre upset. So, hier's hy: Die Blues kannie vrotter as wat hulle tot dusver was nie!! 'n span met spelers soos Houtvoël, Meeu-lama, Afoa, Williams, Rou-kou-kounut moet seker een of anner tyd kliek, en 'n bietjie rugby speel... Brumbies was gelukkig laasweek in Canberra, en hierrie naweek is hulle pêl Honiss nie in beheer vannie wedstryd nie... Blues met 8 punte

Highlanders v Sharks: oukei, dink met jou verstand, Big Pik.... Ai, ma' die Sharks se luck moet seker EEN of anner tyd draai??? Dit gaan close wees, maar wat in hulle guns kan tel hierrie week, is die feit dat die Highlanders teruggetravel het vannie Republic af Dunedin toe.... So, as ons spelers elke jaar moan oor jetlag, dan moet dit seker vi hulle ook affekteer? Eish... Too close to call.. Nick Evans is uit, en hulle sal hom mis.. Oukei, Sharks met 3 punte.... (asseblief!!)

Bulls v Hurricanes: Die Canes gaanie die Bulle stop op Loftus nie, sorry! Derrick sal skop virrie hoekies, Victor sal skoonmaak innie lynstaan, en P3 sal afrond na 'n rolmaal beweging.. Dissie mooi raakbie nie, maar dis effektief! Hulle mis Tana se leierskap, en dit gaan beslis nie makliker op Loftus wees, as laasnaweek innie Kaap nie. Habêna missie tekkels oppie kantlyn nie, pappa!! Bulls met 10 punte

Stormers v Cheetahs: Dissie Karrie Kap Kampioene, teenie under achievers vannie Kaap... Die laaste twee jaar hettie manne van Bloem elke keer hulle "more talented" opponente se name goed gat gemaak op Nuweland, so hoekom moet ek dink dit sal anners wees hierrie keer?? Assit reen, speel hulle vi De Waal op 10, en skop ons stukkend... Assit droog is, speel Bosman, en probeer hulle die bal bietjie meer wyd speel... En, Rassie is 'n goeie coach, hy sal reg wees mette plan B en C...
Laasnaweek was 'n beter performance deurie manne in Swart, maar hulle't nog steeds verloor... Piet Skeate en Bekker Jr behoort goed te vaar innie lineouts, maar ek wonner hoe ons gaan vaar innie skrums? Jeanius en Djoeba is innie midfield en Chavanga (glory halleluja!!), is uiteindelik reg om te speel... Die Stormers het 'n wen broodnodig voor hulle over the seas toer, maar ek weetie so lekker nie.... Spyt my ommit te sê, maar Sheetahs met 10.... (maar, ek sal darem nie maaind om verkeerd te wees oor hierrie ene nie....)

Oukei, lekke naweek sjaainas!!

Onthou: Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas..... en Riaan rock!!!!

Die Super Bore-teen

2006-03-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

Miskien issit omdat my span so vrot speel, maarie raakbie is bietije vervelig nog tot dusver.... eish!!

Eerste dinge eerste: Geluk Sheetahs!! Julle het my darem nie laasweek gedrop nie!! Verloor nou net nog vlge week se wedstryd op Nuweland teenie Briesies, dan wens ek julle 'n unbeaten run toe tot oppie einde!!!!!!

Gaan Jean speel hierrie Saterrag?? Ek is darem nou al moeg om te lê en droom oor drieë wat hy druk innie hoekie, net om by afskop vir Gus-man te sien uitdraf... Sê vir Kobus van der Merwe hy moet bietjie gaan klaprugby kyk.. Ons moet beter senters/vleuels/utilities as daai hê....

En wat issit met SA'se nightclubs, ennie Aussie en Kiwi raakbiespelers?? Eerste verneem ons van The Drunken Sailor se vomeer sessie buitekant die ou Billy the Bumb's, en toe wassit weer laasweek Djerrie Kolgans se beurt om sy maatjie Fa'atau per ongeluk met die elmboog innie gesig by te kom... Die manne akkodeer lykkit my nie so lekker met ons smaaklike brawyn nie!! As jy nou 'n meningsopname moet doen, vrees hulle seker meer die nagevolge vannie brawyn "the morning after the night before", assie opponente teen wie hulle Saterrae uitdraf.....

Maar, terug byrrie rakbie:

Predictions vir hierrie naweek (laasweek wassit 5 uit 6 vi my, net jammer die Briesies het my gedrop....)

Chiefs v Cruise-aders: Wie gaan die defending champs stop?? Die Chiefs in Hamilton is 'n moeiliker proposition as laasweek se Blues in Christchurch, maar die Cruise-aders behoort dit nog steeds te doen. Richie Makou vs Marty Holah behoort opwindend te wees. Ek wens die Chiefs kan shock, maar sal nie gebeur nie. Crusaders met 10 punte

Waratahs v Cats: Jorrie, Jorrie, Jorrie!!!! Die Cats het teen die Stormers verloor, so dit moet klaar al vi ons iets sê......... Waratahs sal skerper wees as laasweek teenie Sharks, so ek hoop van harte die manne het hulle tekkeling geofen die week! Rogers begin op 10, so arme Earl Rose sal moet regstaan.... Ai, kan 'n lang aand raak in Sydney virrie manne van Jozi.... Waratahs behoort bonuspunt te kry, en wen met 15...

Brumbies v Sharks: Selle prediction as laasweek.... Sharks gaan begin teen 500km/h, fase na fase afdwing, maar nie convert in punte nie.. Brumbies is elk geval nessie Waratahs, altwee so blerrie negatief, so hulle worry nie ommie strafskop en moontlike 3 punte af te staan nie.. (en, met Percy wat deesdae net 20 m skoppe kan oorklits, issit nie eers verseker dat dit gaan oor wees nie) Ek hoopie Sharkies verras my, maar ek kannie sien hoe die Brumbies oppie Bruce verloor nie. Ruan sal weereens 'n blinder speel, en vir George Migrain laat verlang na retirement. Brumbies met 5, sonner die bonuspoint try

Reds v Western Force: Seriously, who cares....

Bulls v Highlanders: aaah.... Die Bulle het 'n week af gehad, hulle Cowgirl cheerleaders se bootse sal mooi gepolish wees, Matfield en Gary Botha is terug (hy is nou al 'n Springbok, Bloubulaanhangers, so relax!!), en Loftus sal weereens stampvol wees. Good Luck Highlanders!Die Highlanders se senters/vleuels sal agterkom dat die opposisie hierrie naweek actually tekkels gaan maak, so dit sal nie one way traffic wees soos laas naweek onner innie Kaap nie. Plus, hulle longe sal maar brand gedurende die laaste 15 minute oppie hoëveld. Bulle behoort te wen met 10. Maak maar weer reg virre lang Maandagoggend byrrie werk as jy so unlucky is om saam met 'n Bul supporter te werk..... Ek meen, maak selfs hulle ballboys Bokke, man!!

Stormers v Hurricanes: Dis nou rêrig die laaste naweek wat ek 04h00 opstaan om vi hulle te kyk... Genuine!!!! Moet weer iets wees wat ek gesnuif het vroeër vanaand, maar ek dink weer nie die Canes gaanit maak hierrie naweek nie. Schalk Brits het hom hierrie week persoonlik bekend gestel aan sy slotte, so dit sal beter gaan innie lynstane. Schalla gaan ook Saterrag wakker skrik, en besef hy's oppie rugbyveld, en bietjie virrie Canes wys (met of sonner Jerry) wat hy kan doen. En hopelik is Jeanius fit, sodat ons backline (met Jouba oppie wing, nogals) virre slag weer aanie gang kan kom. Dit gaan close wees, maar hulle gaanit vat. Dan sal ons naiewe WP supporters na die game weer te dink "yes, we're back!!", net ommie vlge week weer teleurgestel te word met 'n below par performance teenie Cheetahs....... Ek wens Nick Mallett wil vir Kobus innie pad steek, en self die span afrig.. Ek lees darem dat hy Maandag virrie Briesies goed hulle fortune vertel het, so kom ons kyk maar of hulle vinger wil trek...... Oraait, Stormers met 3...

Lekker naweek.

Onthou, Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!

Week 4....

2006-03-01T22:33:00.000-08:00

howzit chaainas!!

Sorry, met die trekkery was Big Pik hopeloos te stil... Maar, ek's terug, al is dit dan net om Butch en Djeff-Frou te spite...

Chaainas, ek het hoop!! Ons gaan die Kap vat!! Het julle gehoor SA Rugby het nou officially aansoek gedoen by Sid Miller en sy tjommas vannie IRB, dat toetsrugby ook oor 'n "shortened version" gespeel word! Nes krieket se 20/20 (of issit Pro 20 da' innie republic??) Ek meen, ons spelers sal nie eers veel moet verstel om suksesvol innie nuwe "code" te weesie!!! Ons is klaar meesters oppie gebied!! Ons manne speel deesdae vir 40 minute hulle harte uit, loop gemaklik met 15 punte voor, gaat defend dan die lead virrie vlge. 30 minute, net om oppie einde te gaan plat lê oppie vloer virrie laaste 10.... So, om dinge nou net "fair" te maak, gaat die twee helftes nou slegs 20 minute elk wees!! Net om dinge bietjie meer fair te maak vir ons spanne!! Kyk, ek voel hie' komme ding!! Watch this space!!!! Instant success virrie Bokke!!! Ole, ole, ole, ole!!!

So, wat gaan hierrie naweek gebeur?? Gelukkig het ekvanoggend oppie nuus hie' in Kiwiland gehoor lattie Highlanders al kla' almal ge-spytpoep het gisteraand.... Dis asof Anton Olivier en sy maatjies die mense aan hierrie kant net solank wil laat weet dat "assit nettie virrie food poisoning wassie, het ons hulle gevat! genuine!!!" Voel vi my ek sê dit deesdae elke week, ma wragtag: "as ons nie hierrie week wen mette bonuspunt nie, gaan ons nooit wen mette bonuspunt nie!!!". Die Highlanders is oraait, ma' kom ek maak nou ma' poephol van myself: Stormers met 10 punte! Gas-man Theron vervang vir Jong'tjie Knock-we oppie vleuel (mannetjie het promise, maar hy't 'n shocker gehad laasweek!! Ons moet nou nettie tipies WP rugby hom gat staan en weggooi nie!!), en vlgs. my issie veiligste plek om wel vir Gus innie span te hê, wyd oppie wing.. so ver as moontlik vannie aksie af.. Die Jeanius is darem hopelik reg om sy plek te vat innie midfield, en Jew-Bear is darem ook oppie bank!! whoohoo!! Ek hoop net sy kop is reg!! Werner behoort hierrie week weer 'n super af game te hê (hy speel mos HONDk@k, of semi oraait deesadae), so ek hou ma' my asem op...

Ma', kom ons hoop ma' dat ons voorlangs die Hooglanners kan tem... eish... ek weetie so lekker nie!! As Splinters Shimmie net vir Piet Skeate en co innie lynstane kan vind, is ons darem al ampe da... Ek wonner wie gaat hierrie week die intercept traai score??

Oraait, dan beweeg ons oor na Cats v Brumbies toe... Tiaan Snyman is nog steeds vlgs. Frans Ludicrous die beste losskakel in Jozi.... Die man hette boot op hom, ma' dis al!! Doppies vervang vi' Julies op 12 (wat tot dusver baie teleurstellend was, ma' wie kan hom blame met die losskakel aan sy binnekant??), en die Bokke se 13, Jacque kry net plek op die vleuel..... Die ergste van als is seker die feit dat Jorrie Muller wee oppie bank is!!! Eish, ek hoop wraggies nie iemand kry seer nie..... Kyk uit vi' Gerhard Vosloo, die Katte se 6 flank. Ek dink hy's een van daai tipiese "ek is te dom om seer te kry SA rugbyspelers". MAAR, Sorry Cats... Ek kannie sien hoe julle die Brumbies klop oppie Bruce Stadion (jis, wat 'n diep naam!!! sjoe, hulle het seker lank gedink aan DAAI ene!!) nie.... Brumbies met ten minste 12 punte!

Cheetahs v Hurricanes: Moet seker iets wees wat ek gesnuif het vroeër vanaand, ma' ek dink hie kommie upset vannie weekend. Hurricanes was swak laas naweek, en was flippen laakie om die bonuspunt te kry teenie Cats... Hulle het for sure die gevaarlikste backline innie kompetisie, met Ma'skara Nonu, Tana O'magtag, Vat-vat-au en Toeivia, so assie Sheetahs wil gaat staan en basketball speel teen hulle, issit nag. Ma', in Rassie het hulle daam nie 'n poephol as coach nie. Hopelik issie Vrystaatstadion volgepak, die weer speel saam (alhoewel die boere my seker sal kwalik neem daarvoor...), en besluit Ollie om te stick byrrie basics van stutspel virre slag.. Just to be safe!! Sheetahs met 3...

Waratahs v Sharks: Die Sharks gaat weer moedig probeer vi 60 minute, net om die laaste 20 minute uit stoom uit te hardloop.... Ruan gaat vi mechanic Whittaker al sy dae gee, ma' oppie einde sallit seker nie genoeg weesie... Percy sal weer 'n paar sitters mis, net ommie moeilikes uittie hoekies uit oor te skop... Ma', die Waratahs in Sydney issie maklik nie... So, kom ons sê ma' net om veilig te wees, Waratahs met 15 punte...

Dan, die laaste twee: Chiefs v Reds in Hamilton - Jonno Gibbes is terug as hulle kêppie, etc, etc, so die Chiefs gaat wen met bonuspunt virrie eerste keer innie kompetisie. Sivvivatu en Mills Mol-innie-hol-ai-eina behoort die try scorers te wees... yawn, yawn..

Laastens: Cruise-aders v Blues.. Kannie glo ek sê dit nie, ma' ek wens so die Blues verras... Anners issie kompetisie al sommer kla reeds verby... (wassit nie al 'n uitgemaakte saak die Cruise-aders gaat dit vat nog voorie kom beginne hettie?? oh well...) Maar, sonner Queen Carlos sukkel die Blouspan... Lavea kry hulle nie aanie gang nie, en ek sien hom ook maar sukkel teen Dan the Man... So, Cruise-aders met 20....

Ongelukkig speel my gunstelinge, die Bulle nie hierrie naweek nie.... ai, ek sal darem seker weer vlge week iets moois oor hulle kan sê....

Oraait, lekke kaakbie kyk!! Onthou: Jean de Villiers innie hoekie, pappas!!!!

Pikke predicts.....

2006-02-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

It's time gentlemen... and ladies...
Friday night it starts all over again!! so, time to kiss your girlfriend/wife/husband/dog or cat goodbye, 'cause a strenuous 4 months lie ahead.. So much rugby, so little time...

Let's first focus on the first Suff Effricen match up over the weekend...

Bulls v (holy)Sheetahs....

Eish!!! She's gonna be ugly..... Let's have a quick look at the Bulls line up:

The Karrie Kap defeat will still be fresh in the minds of the battered Snor City chaainas, so Sheetahs beware!!

Rumour also has it that the "physio from Hell" has been replaced by a skinny fella, who's "not so flash at wrestling, but is pretty handy at doing the actual physiotherapist job". (in case you Blue Bull supporters might've tried to forget about that one, let me refresh the memory: Blue Bull physio runs on field to wrestle Cheetah player during the Karrie Kap final... baaaahaaahaaa......sorry, but that was hillarious!!)

Victor Matfield won't be playing in this one, same goes for Gary Botha... So, how will they do in the line outs?? Well, Bakkies will probably step on his opponent's toe, or smash his face in before the first jump, so they probably won't miss the Blue Bull pretty boy too much! Also, be assured to hear calls from the Loftus faithful by mid March already, that the Bulls replacement for Botha, Kobus van der Walt needs to be a Bok... ek meen, maakie Bulle almal Bokke, of hoe??? Easy peasy....

Fourie du Preez and Hougaardt will be the "skakelpaar". (and i thought du Preez was going to be out injured for a while?? see, i told you that new physio was pure magic.....) Derrick hasn't quite recovered from the bad news during training 3 years ago, when the coach told him the modern flyhalf has to actually defend his channel, and make a couple of tackles a game.. So, we'll have to see how he goes.. Olivier and Nel will be steady in the midfield, with JP attempting to behead his opponent at least once during the game... yawn, yawn... nothing new. Out wide they have the class of Habana, so if they feed the speed enough during the game, they might actually score some tries. Last, but not least: Johan "wit boots" Roets has been spotted during the off season at the Vaaldam, endlessly practising his ability under the high ball, so De Waal/Bosman: Pasop, manne!! he's got that one covered now!! watch this space.....

Bulls team for weekend:

Roets, Ndungane, Nel, Olivier, Habaaaaaaaana, Hougaardt, du Preez, Cronje, Rossouw, Wasserman, van Schouwenberg, Botha, Roux, van der Walt, Engels

Quick question for the Bulls' managment: i thought there had to be four players of colour in the starting line up?? Unless the two pacy wingers' counts for 2 extra, they're going to have a bit of explaining to do......

it's here!!

2006-02-07T23:05:00.000-08:00