The Brisbane 49'ers...

Dear Big Pik,

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your letters. Just that I've been super busy lately, with all the planning, etc I have to put into the Boks' game plan, on a weekly basis, you know.....

So.... Saturday night was a bit of an unexpected mishap... No need to panic, though! Just a bad night at the office! You can't expect to win every test match, I say! I keep trying to convince those fools in the media, that there are indeed some positives we as a team can take from our effort in Brisbane! To start off with: We turned up on time for the match! Also, I think we looked a lot smarter and sharper in or track suits, than the Wallabies for instance! Our singing of the National anthem, also has to be applauded! People ask me what Danie Coetzee, Eddie Andrews and Albert van den Bergh are doing in the squad. Just listen to them sing, I tell you!!! You can't underestimate the value of a good singer in test match rugby these days! It's where it all starts!! You can't win without a decent singer. That's the key to winning the world cup!

And, that bloody Paul Honiss!! I mean, surely the dumb SA public will continue to blame HIM if our team performs dismally on the day!!! Come on, he robbed us in 2004 against the Irish, and I'm pretty sure if I keep reminding Joe Public about that, they'll let me off the hook! (note to self: remind Smittie to have a go at him at the next press conference... again!)
I tell you, Pik, those bloody vultures in the media aren't making it easy for me! Again I have to listen to "how dirty we are". I mean, they mention the incident when Ricky put his fingers in Stirling's mouth... I'll tell you in my best Jeppe English, Ricky assured me he washed his hands before the start of the match!! What more can I say?? I am not the coach of a dirty rugby team!! I won't stand for that!! Personal hygiene is a priority for us!!

o ja, before I forget: I've made sure all newspapers are banned from our hotel, so I don't have a clue as to what happened over the weekend in the Currie Cup. (If they can't say anything postive about us, why the hell buy the bloody newspapers, I say!!) Scores, ou Pik? I sure as hell hope that Watson laaitie didn't play another blinder.... He's not exactly making things easy for me, you know.... So, I hope Province got pumped at Newlands!!! All this talk about Watson is making me mad, ou Pik! And, again the monsters in the media seem to remember every bloody comment I've made so far... The last one that came back to haunt me, is the fact that "he's too small for international rugby". Dêmmit, I was as surprised as you to see he weighs a bit more than Solly in the newspaper the other day! How the hell was I supposed to know that!! So, when we arrived in Brisbane, I decided it's time to fix that!! I put Solly on an intense conditioning program (hence the reason he didn't "featcher" in Brisbane) He's been at Hungry Jacks every day so far!! And, it's paying off: The guy's picked up about 5 kgs already! We'll show them!!! He's going to be my "secret weapon" against the Blackies!

Ok, chaaina, time for me to sign off. Loads to do still before Saturday's test match! And, of course I still remember about the tickets! Funny thing, I even have 40 extra tickets available now! Seems like some of the old toppies on the organised supporters' tours, decided to cancel the Wellington trip... Can you believe it?
Oraait, I'll see you in the hotel lobby then on Saturday morning. Remember to bring that video!!

Best Regards
Jake Shyte

SPIESiaal vi jou.....

Liewe Jake,

Jis ou, hoe lyk dinge? Kry jy my briewe? Als nog oraait da bo in Brisbane? Ek hoop nie die Gold Coast is TE lekker, ennie manne lê weer net heeldag oppie strand nie.... Jis, ek hoop julle bly darem inne grênder hotel assie Backpackers waar ek en Liefie gebly het laasjaar!! So, vanne hool het ek laanklaas gesien!! (en, onthou ek's va Kraaifontein af!) Ma', vi $15.50 per nag, wat het ons verwag..... Maar, wat praat ek als: SARU kyk mos darem mooi na julle groot menere!

So, gepraat va SARU:Ek hoor hulle willie jou kontrak nou al verleng nie.. Moettie worry nie, ou pel: Dit gebeur mettie beste van ons, trust my!! My huidige werk het ook einde Januarie maand besluit om nie my temp kontrak te verleng nie, en ek was net so upset!! Dis darem 'n klap inne mens se gesig, ne!! Maar, hulle't ook gou agtergekom hulle't my meer nodig, as ek vi hulle nodig gehad het, en whoops whalla.... Ek's nog steeds hierso!! My ma sê mos altyd: "maak jouself irreplacable!!" Dag ek dra sommer net so bietjie vannie Ouvrou se raad oor aan jou....

Anyways...
Ek skryf maar net om julle sterkte toe te wens vi moreaand se game!!!
Dis vi my darem so interessant om na al die comments innie koerante te luister.. Sal darem lekker wees as julle, na julle heel week gesê het julle gaanie Wannabees net voorlangs target, besluit "bogger dit!!!", en hulle verras ommie bol bietjie wyd te speel... Hel, dis darem nie asof ons bietjie variety kort in ons spelpatroon oppie oomblik nie.... Ek meen, die Aussies dink darem ookie julle's breindood nie.....
Maar ag wat, ek sê weer... Wat weet ekke nou?
Sê vi spEISH, ek sê hy moet lekker speel, so ook Aikona!

O ja: ek het amper vegeet om te noem!! Julle was seker al op pad Aussie toe, so jy sou dit nie kon sien op Supersport nie: Province het laas Saterrag die Bulle gewen!! Op Loftus nogals!! 15 - 10 wassie eindtelling. Apparantly het Luke gekook....Ek moet ook maar wag virrie replay hierrie Woensdagaand oppie Rugby Channel, ma' Daniël het gesê hy sallit vi ons tape!! Dan sal ekkit sommer vlge Saaragoggend vi jou bring byrrie hotel in Wellington, as ek ons toetskaartjies kom optel. (jy onthou mos daam nog jy't my 2 tickets belowe, of hoe?)

Goed ou vrind, ek moet afsluit!!
Alles vannie Bokste!!!

Big Pik